So You Want to Manage England in EA FC 24? Hold My Pint and Let's Talk Tactics, Gaffer!
Ah, the illustrious England job. A glorious burden, a national treasure (almost as valuable as a decent penalty taker), and a pressure cooker that could turn even Pep Guardiola's hair permanently beige. But fret not, aspiring gaffers! Here's your ultimate guide to becoming the next Three Lions legend (or at least, not getting sacked by halftime in your first match).
How To Get England Job Fc 24 |
Step 1: Forge Your Managerial Credentials (No Knighting Necessary)
Dominate the Club Game: This ain't rocket science. Win trophies, develop young talent, and make tactical decisions that don't leave your fans muttering about "peak Mourinho" under their breath. Start small, work your way up the league pyramid, and build a reputation for being, well, not rubbish.
International Experience is a Bonus (Unless it's San Marino): Managing a smaller nation can be a good stepping stone. Just, you know, try to avoid any pitch invasions by disgruntled fans after a surprise defeat to Liechtenstein.
QuickTip: Repeat difficult lines until they’re clear.
Manager Rating is Your Best Mate: Keep that bad boy nice and green. It's basically your Tinder profile for international jobs. High rating? You're swiping right for glory. Low rating? More like swiping left for League Two.
Step 2: The Waiting Game (With a Side of Nail-Biting)
Patience is a Virtue (Especially When You're 20 Games Deep and Southgate Still Hasn't Buggered Off): This can be the toughest part. Just keep performing at your club, and eventually, the FA might come knocking. Unless, of course, they decide to give the job to a celebrity with zero managerial experience. But hey, that's the beautiful game for you.
QuickTip: Read line by line if it’s complex.
Social Media Shenanigans? Tread Carefully: Don't go on a Twitter rant about wanting the England job. It might not go down well with your current club's board (or the FA for that matter). Unless you're aiming for the "hilarious maverick manager" image, that is.
Step 3: England Job? It's Finally Yours! Now Don't Screw Up.
Pick the Right Squad (and Don't Forget the Tea Lady): This is where your tactical nous comes in. But remember, England is a land of strong opinions and even stronger pundits. Pick the wrong team, and you'll be facing a media onslaught that would make Roy Keane blush.
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Manage the Media Like You Manage Your Wingers (Keep Them in Check): Learn to deflect criticism with the grace of a seasoned politician (or a particularly slippery eel). Befriend the press (or at least don't call them all "pie-eating clowns").
Get That Glorious Trophy (Finally a Reason to Sing "It's Coming Home"): Ultimately, results are king. Win some matches, bring home the silverware, and you'll be a national hero. Just don't get too cocky – remember, you're only one penalty shootout away from being a national villain.
QuickTip: Focus on what feels most relevant.
FAQ: Your England Management Dreams Answered
How to Deal With the Pressure? Deep breaths, copious amounts of tea, and a therapist on speed dial.
How to Handle Player Tantrums? Channel your inner Sir Alex Ferguson. A hairdryer treatment might just do the trick (although a stiff upper lip might be more your style).
How to Get the Tactics Right? There's no magic formula, but studying past England failures is a good start. Maybe avoid replicating them?
How to Survive the Media Circus? Develop a thick skin and a witty retort or two. Bonus points for channelling your inner Alan Partridge.
How to Actually Win Something? That, my friend, is the million-dollar question. But hey, if you figure it out, let the rest of us know!
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