Cracking the Code: Your Hilarious Guide to Conquering Perth Modern
So, you've set your sights on the prestigious halls of Perth Modern School – a place where minds are sharpened, dreams are chased (by velociraptors, probably), and the cafeteria serves nothing but brain food (questionable, but we'll get to that later). But before you don your metaphorical cape and thinking helmet, let's navigate the slightly less dramatic (but still important) steps to getting in.
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| How To Get Into Perth Modern |
Step 1: You Gotta Have the "Right Stuff" (No, Not the Shiny Kind)
Forget X-ray vision or telekinesis. Perth Modern is looking for brainiacs – students who are academically gifted and have a thirst for knowledge that rivals a dehydrated marathon runner. Think you fit the bill? Great! Now, onto the real challenge...
Step 2: The A.S.E.T. Arena: A Battle of Wits (and Pencils)
The Academic Selective Entrance Test (A.S.E.T.) is your Hogwarts Sorting Hat, only instead of a moldy hat, it's a multiple-choice test that determines your academic destiny. Brush up on your reading comprehension, writing skills, and, well, everything else. Remember, knowledge is power, and in this case, the power to avoid cafeteria mystery meat.
Pro Tip: Befriend a friendly neighborhood owl for some late-night study sessions. Those things are terrifyingly efficient.
Tip: Reading carefully reduces re-reading.
Step 3: The Waiting Game (Prepare for Existential Dread)
You've conquered the A.S.E.T. Now comes the excruciating wait for results. Channel your inner zen master and avoid refreshing your inbox every two seconds. Remember, good things come to those who wait (and maybe do some light meditation to avoid spontaneous human combustion).
Fun Fact: During this time, students at Perth Modern are rumored to be trained in the art of telepathy, which they use to mock you for your anxiety. (Okay, probably not, but it's a fun story).
Step 4: Victory Dance or Back to the Drawing Board?
The email arrives! You're either celebrating like you just won the Hunger Games (minus the violence, hopefully), or contemplating a dramatic career shift to professional napping.
Tip: Pause if your attention drifts.
Don't worry, even if you don't snag a spot this time, there are other fantastic schools out there. Just dust yourself off, grab a cookie (brain food is overrated anyway), and try again next year!
FAQs for the Aspiring Perth Modern Scholar
How to prepare for the A.S.E.T.?
Practice tests and past papers are your best friends. Check the Gifted and Talented (GAT) website for resources.
Tip: Break down complex paragraphs step by step.
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How many times can I apply?
There's no limit! You can apply for the A.S.E.T. each year until Year 11.
What are my chances of getting in?
QuickTip: Read with curiosity — ask ‘why’ often.
The competition is fierce, but hard work and dedication can increase your odds.
Does Perth Modern have a uniform?
Yes, and rumor has it, it comes with a built-in jetpack for those late-night study sessions (again, probably not, but a cool thought).
Is the food at Perth Modern really mystery meat?
Let's just say the cafeteria menu is an ongoing student debate. Pack a lunch, just in case.
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