Taming the Asphalt Jungle: Your Guide to Getting Speed Bumps on Your Philly Street
Is your street turning into a mini Nascar racetrack? Do you dodge rogue sedans like a matador avoids a bull (hopefully with more success)? Well, fret no more, fellow Philadelphian! This guide will equip you with the knowledge to transform your street from a speedster's paradise into a pedestrian's peaceful promenade.
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| How To Get Speed Bumps On Your Street In Philadelphia |
Step 1: Check Your Street's Eligibility - Not All Roads Lead to Speed Bumps
Before you grab your neon construction vest and start waving a flag, hold on a sec. Speed bumps aren't for just any street. The City of Philadelphia, in its infinite wisdom (and likely to avoid complaints from rally car enthusiasts), has some restrictions. Don't worry, it's not rocket science, but ** ???? ( ???? is Korean for ???? which means 'important')** to check if your street qualifies.
Head over to the City's website (don't worry, I won't make you trawl through endless legalese) and use their super cool interactive map. Just pop in your address and voila! Green light? Speed bump dreams on track! Red light? Sorry, gotta get creative with other traffic calming measures (think giant rubber duckies at strategic corners... just kidding... maybe).
QuickTip: Slow down if the pace feels too fast.
Step 2: Unleash Your Inner Bureaucrat - Submitting a Request Through Philly311
Congratulations, your street is in the running! Now, it's time to become a master of bureaucracy (think less Michael Scott, more Leslie Knope). The City has made things nice and easy with their Philly311 system. You can submit your request online, via their app, or by dialing 311 (because who doesn't love a good old-fashioned phone call?).
Pro Tip: Gather your neighbors and have them submit requests too! Squeaky wheel gets the speed bump, as they say (or maybe that's a different proverb?).
Tip: Share this article if you find it helpful.
Step 3: Patience is a Virtue (Especially When Dealing with the Government)
Once you've submitted your request, settle in for a cup of chamomile tea (or something stronger, no judgement here). The City will review your request based on a fancy scoring system that considers things like safety data and how many kittens use your street as a crosswalk (okay, maybe not kittens, but you get the idea).
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Don't despair! The City has streamlined the process, so you shouldn't be waiting for years (unless they get sidetracked by a surprise Gritty sighting).
QuickTip: Don’t ignore the small print.
Step 4: Victory Lap (Maybe)
If your request gets the green light, the City will whoop it up (metaphorically, of course) and get to work installing those glorious speed bumps. You, my friend, will have become a champion of pedestrian safety and a legend on your block (just try not to let the power go to your head).
But wait, there's more! In some cases, the City might ask you to collect signatures from your neighbors showing their support for the speed bumps. Think of it as your chance to become the neighborhood pied piper, leading your fellow residents to a calmer, safer street.
QuickTip: Slow down when you hit numbers or data.
FAQ
- How do I know if my street is eligible for speed bumps? Check the City's interactive map!
- How do I submit a request for speed bumps? Use Philly311 (online, app, or phone at 311).
- How long will it take to get speed bumps? Patience is key, but the City has streamlined the process.
- What if my request gets denied? You can appeal the decision, but gather more evidence to support your case.
- Do I need to get my neighbors involved? It can help your request, especially if the City asks for signatures.
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