You Shall Not Pass! (Unless Your Michigan ID Isn't Suspect)
Ah, Michigan. The Great Lakes State. Land of delicious cherries, Motown music, and...suspicious IDs? Look, we've all been there. You're working the door at the hippest new mead hall (because, mead!), and suddenly you're faced with a plastic rectangle that screams, "Weekend at Bernie's, but make it underage!" Fear not, my fellow gatekeeper, for I am here to bestow upon you the wisdom of discerning the real from the ridiculously fake.
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| How To Tell If A Michigan Id Is Fake |
Inspect Like a CSI: The Physical Tell-Tales
First things first, grab that ID like you're analyzing a fingerprint at a crime scene (minus the dramatic music). A genuine Michigan ID should feel sturdy and have a smooth, laminated finish. Fake IDs are often flimsy or have a bumpy texture, like they laminated a bad spray tan. Run your fingers along the edges – a real ID will have smooth, rounded corners, while its counterfeit cousin might feel suspiciously sharp, like it just escaped the printer.
WARNING: Don't go all Jackson Pollock on the ID! A little grease from your fingers is fine, but avoid leaving behind any masterpieces.
QuickTip: Skim the intro, then dive deeper.
Next, let there be light! No, not that kind (although if someone tries to bribe you with a disco ball, that's a red flag too). Hold the ID under a bright light and look for security features. A real Michigan ID will have a hologram that changes depending on the angle – think tiny dancing Wolverines (because, Michigan). Fake IDs? More like hologram ghosts – they just ain't there.
Birthdays and Birthmarks: Discrepancies Do the Dirty Work
Now, let's get down to the nitty-gritty: the information on the ID. Does the photo match the person standing in front of you like a long-lost twin? If not, that's a major red flag. Is the birthdate older than Methuselah? Unless they're a vampire with a questionable taste in fake IDs, that's another red flag waving like a discount banner at a car dealership.
Reminder: Reading twice often makes things clearer.
Double-check the details! Does the address match their story about visiting their grandma who lives "practically across the border" in Ohio? Are there any typos? A real ID might have a minor smudge, but it shouldn't look like it was written by a drunken squirrel with a calligraphy obsession.
When in Doubt, Ask About the Weather in Kalamazoo
Let's face it, sometimes even with all these checks, you're still unsure. That's where your inner detective comes in. Ask questions! What's the capital of Michigan? (It's Lansing, by the way, not mitten.) When was the last time they visited the giant cherry pie? (Because, Michigan.)
QuickTip: Focus on one line if it feels important.
A genuine Michigander will know their trivia, even if they haven't memorized every detail on their ID. If they get flustered or give answers that make less sense than a basket of weasels, then you know what to do.
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Remember: You're the gatekeeper! With a little practice, you'll be a Michigan ID ninja, separating the wheat from the chaff (and by chaff, we mean terribly made fake IDs).
Tip: Note one practical point from this post.
FAQ: Become a Michigan ID Master!
How to check the hologram? Hold the ID under a light and tilt it back and forth. You should see a design change, often a state seal or other security feature.
How to tell if the birthdate is legit? Do a quick mental calculation. If the person looks like they could be your grandma, and the ID says they're 21, that's a red flag.
How to phrase my questions? Keep it casual! Ask about things a Michigander would likely know, but avoid anything too obscure.
What if I'm still not sure? Err on the side of caution. It's always better to be safe than sorry. You can politely deny entry and suggest they get their ID verified by the authorities.
Should I confiscate a fake ID? Nope! That's police work. Just deny entry and let them know you suspect the ID is fraudulent.
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