Cracking the Code: How Did Someone ACTUALLY Win the 2023 London Marathon?
The 2023 London Marathon was a legendary race. Forget unicorns, this was where marathon dreams were made (and some were probably shattered... along with a few personal bests). But with 40,000 odd participants, how did one person manage to snag the glory (and the massive cheque, let's be honest)? Fear not, my fellow curious running enthusiasts, for we shall delve into the mystery that is marathon victory!
Step 1: Don't Get Disqualified
This might seem obvious, but trust me, it's a surprisingly common hurdle (or should that be cone?). Tripping over a rogue spectator's picnic blanket, taking a wrong turn and ending up in Brighton instead of Buckingham Palace... These are all rookie mistakes. Avoid them.
**Step 2: Be inhumanly fast (or at least, really fast) **
Okay, this is where most of us mere mortals hit a snag. The winner, Kelvin Kiptum, absolutely smashed the course record at a mind-blowing 2:01:25. That's faster than most people can eat a bowl of porridge. Side note: If you're aiming for this kind of speed, maybe lay off the porridge.
Step 3: Train like a Running Robot (with a hint of superhuman grit)
Years of dedication, countless miles logged, early mornings that would make a vampire cry... Winning a marathon ain't for the faint of heart (or lung).
Step 4: Maybe Have Some Talent (but Really Good Training Helps More)
Let's be honest, genetics play a role. But hey, you can't choose your parents (unless you're in a sci-fi movie, which would be awesome... and slightly terrifying). Focus on the things you can control, like that extra training session (or two, or ten).
Step Kelvin Kiptum's Secret Weapon? Sheer Awesomeness
Look, the man clearly has some magic running dust sprinkled on his trainers. There's no other explanation.
So You Want to Win the London Marathon?
Here are some handy FAQs to get you started (although, spoiler alert, winning might still be a tough one):
How to Train for a Marathon?
Start slow, build gradually, find a decent coach (unless you're secretly a marathon prodigy, then by all means, wing it).
How to Avoid Disqualification?
Stay on course, don't steal anyone's water bottle, and maybe avoid wearing a costume so elaborate it hinders your running (yes, people do this).
How Much Does the Winner Get?
Enough to buy a small island nation (or at least a very fancy pair of running shoes).
How Do I Feel Like a Winner Even if I Don't Actually Win?
Cross that finish line! Completing a marathon is a monumental achievement, regardless of your time.
How Else Can I Celebrate My Marathon Success?
Giant slice of cake. Don't even think twice. You've earned it.
