The Melbourne Cup: Where Dreams are Made... and Occasionally Dashed
The Melbourne Cup. Australia's "race that stops the nation." A day of fancy frocks, nervous punters, and enough champagne corks to launch a small rocket. But let's face it, even in the land of Oz, not every horse can be a champion. So, for those whose knowledge of the Cup extends to colourful hats and a vague sense of excitement, here's the lowdown on who (or rather, whose hooves) brought up the rear in the most recent Melbourne Cup.
The Glorious (or Not-So-Glorious) Title of Last Place
Believe it or not, there's actually a certain...prestige...associated with finishing last in the Melbourne Cup. Kind of like that participation trophy you got in elementary school. In the 2023 Cup, that "prestige" (air quotes very much intended) belonged to a horse named Magical Lagoon. Now, the name might conjure images of a majestic creature gliding effortlessly across the track. Reality, however, was a tad different. Magical Lagoon seemed to have gotten the memo about the race a tad late, taking a leisurely stroll to the finish line a good 43 lengths behind the winner.
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| What Came Last In The Melbourne Cup |
Why Was Magical Lagoon So...Un-Magical?
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The reasons a horse might underperform are as varied as the jockeys' outfits. Maybe Magical Lagoon had a pre-race case of the jitters. Perhaps it just wasn't feeling the whole Melbourne Cup vibe. Whatever the reason, its laid-back approach to the race provided endless amusement for racing fans and social media commentators alike.
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So You Want to Be the Last Horse in the Melbourne Cup? (Probably Not)
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Look, aiming for last place in the Melbourne Cup isn't exactly a winning strategy (unless your idea of winning involves becoming a viral meme). But hey, if you're curious, here are some helpful tips (not that we recommend following them):
How To Land Last Place in the Melbourne Cup (Don't Try This at Home!)
Tip: Make mental notes as you go.
- Perfect Your Stall Technique: Practice taking luxurious naps right out of the starting gate.
- Develop a Taste for Grass: Forget about winning, focus on the delicious snacks growing on the side of the track.
- Master the Art of Selective Hearing: Trainer yelling "Go, go, go!"? Sounds more like "Whoa, slow down there, champ!" in your book.
- Embrace the Scenic Route: Who needs speed when you can enjoy the beautiful Melbourne skyline (from a safe distance behind the pack, of course).
- Channel Your Inner Zen Horse: Breathe deeply, ignore the cheering crowds, and focus on achieving inner peace...eventually crossing the finish line will come, right?
The Melbourne Cup: It's Not Just About Winning (But Winning is Pretty Cool Too)
While the glory goes to the first-place finisher, there's a certain charm to the underdog story of the last-place horse. It reminds us that even in the grand spectacle of the Melbourne Cup, there's always room for a little bit of whimsy (and maybe a sprinkle of internet fame).
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