The Wolverines: From Sign Stealers to NFL Feeders? What in the Harbaugh Happened?
Ah, Michigan football. A team steeped in tradition, passionate fans (sometimes a little too passionate cough Shoe incident cough), and a recent history that's been wilder than a wolverine on a sugar rush. So, let's unpack this maize and blue beast, shall we?
National Champions... with an Asterisk?
That's right folks, Michigan did win the 2024 National Championship, stomping all over Washington in a game that had everyone glued to their TVs (or phones, because millennials). But hold your horses (or horseless carriages, for the purists out there), because there was that pesky little sign-stealing scandal swirling around them like a discount maize tornado.
In the end, the NCAA slapped them with a light punishment (probably because they were too busy chasing a rogue rogue for stealing signs from EVERYONE), but the internet, that glorious entity, never forgets. So, there's that little asterisk next to the championship title, a permanent reminder that winning isn't everything... unless it involves a giant trophy.
Harbaugh Heads to the NFL (Again)
Just when you thought things couldn't get more interesting, Jim Harbaugh, the man, the myth, the khaki-wearing legend, decided to hightail it back to the NFL. Did the NFL get lonely without his sideline intensity? Did Khaki King miss the bright lights and questionable officiating calls? The world may never know.
This left Michigan scrambling to find a new head coach, eventually landing on Sherrone Moore, the team's former offensive coordinator. Can Coach Moore keep the Wolverines winning ways going? Only time, copious amounts of maize and blue Kool-Aid, and maybe a voodoo doll of Ohio State's mascot will tell.
The NFL Draft Bonanza
One thing Michigan can hang its metaphorical hat on is its recent dominance in the NFL Draft. A record-breaking 13 Wolverines were selected in 2024, with 7 landing in the coveted top 100 picks. Is this the start of a Wolverines dynasty in the pros? Will they be the next team everyone loves to hate (looking at you, New England)? Only the future knows, but one thing's for sure: Michigan is a factory for churning out NFL talent.
How to Michigan Football
Alright, alright, so you're curious about becoming a full-fledged Michigan fan. Buckle up, buttercup, because here's a crash course:
How to dress: Maize and blue, always. Bonus points for khakis (because Harbaugh).
How to talk: Learn the difference between "Ohio" and "gross." Trust me, it's important.
How to tailgate: Bring enough food to feed a small army (and enough adult beverages for a slightly smaller army).
How to celebrate: Learn the "Hail to the Victors" fight song. You'll need it.
How to deal with heartbreak: There will be losses. Weep openly, then get back on the maize and blue bandwagon. It's a cycle of life in Ann Arbor.
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