Confessions of a Manhattan Mutt-Minder: Adventures in Dogsitting for the One Percent's Pooches
Let's face it, folks, rent in New York City is enough to make a chihuahua cry. So, when a flyer for "posh pup patrol" (yes, that was the actual name) fluttered past my bodega, my ears perked up faster than a pug at a puggle convention. Dogsitting for the city's elite? Easy money, right? Well, buckle up, because this turned out to be way more "Sex and the City" with slobber than I bargained for.
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| What I Learned Dogsitting For New York City's Opulent Elite |
From Tiny Terriers to Trophy Tibetan Mastiffs: A Menagerie of Mutts (and Their Quirks)
First off, forget your average labradoodle. These were pedigree pups with names like Truffle (a piglet of a pug), Sir Charles Barkley (a surprisingly mellow bulldog), and Bijou, a pint-sized Pomeranian who, I swear, wore a diamond collar. Walking these pampered pooches was like attending a high-society dog show, except half the participants drooled and the other half wore little cashmere sweaters.
Truffle, the discerning diner: This little guy had a more complex palate than a food critic. Forget kibble – Truffle demanded organic, grain-free, hand-assembled (okay, maybe not that last one) meals prepped fresh daily by a private chef. Because, apparently, truffle oil doesn't just belong on fancy fries.
Tip: Read actively — ask yourself questions as you go.
Sir Charles Barkley, the surprisingly soulful snorer: Sir Charles, bless his chunky heart, could snore with the gusto of a freight train. Putting him to bed each night felt like tucking in a furry, wheezing grandpa. But hey, the man (or should I say dog) appreciated a good belly rub, and that's worth its weight in gold (or, you know, gourmet dog biscuits).
Bijou, the pint-sized Napoleon: This tiny terror may have weighed less than a teacup, but her attitude could rival a Doberman. Bijou ruled her Upper East Side penthouse with an iron paw, yapping orders at doormen and demanding (and receiving) chin scratches from bewildered hedge fund managers.
Tip: Don’t just glance — focus.
Lessons Learned: It's a Dog-Eat-Dog (or Rather, Dog-Eat-GOJI-Berry) World Up There
While these pups may have lived a life of luxury (organic paw balm, anyone?), they weren't without their neuroses. Separation anxiety? You bet. Picky eating? Absolutely. Turns out, even a life of privilege can't buy basic doggy contentment. But hey, at least I learned a few things:
- Never underestimate the power of a good belly rub. It works wonders on all creatures, from stressed-out CEOs to yappy Pomeranians.
- Organic dog treats are a real thing. Who knew kale chips came in a canine-friendly version?
- Doormen have seen it all. They may not judge you for talking to your dog in a full-on British accent (guilty!), but they will definitely raise an eyebrow at a pug with a diamond collar.
So, how'd the whole posh pup patrol thing work out? Well, let's just say my bank account is a little happier, and I have a newfound appreciation for the simple pleasures in life, like walks in the park that don't involve dodging designer dog leashes.
Tip: Jot down one takeaway from this post.
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FAQ: So You Want to be a Manhattan Mutt-Minder?
How to: Keep an eye out for dog walker/sitter postings online or at local pet stores.
How much does it pay? Rates vary, but you can expect anywhere from $20-$50 per walk for basic services. Posh pups might command a premium.
Tip: Skim only after you’ve read fully once.
What kind of dogs will I be looking after? In a city like New York, you never know! From Chihuahuas to Great Danes, be prepared for anything.
Do I need experience? Most places require some experience with dog handling, but passion for pups goes a long way.
What's the weirdest thing I'll encounter? Let's just say you might develop a tolerance for discussing a dog's bowel movements with their hedge fund manager owner. But hey, all part of the service!
So there you have it, folks. Dogsitting for the NYC elite: equal parts glamorous, hilarious, and slightly bizarre. But hey, if it means getting paid to cuddle with cute canines, I'm all in!
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