The Buckeyes and the Playoff Picture: A Guide for the Disillusioned Fan
Buckeye Nation, buckle up! We all know the drill by now. Ohio State cruises through the regular season like a four-legged Rolls Royce, then gets T-boned by a pesky blue car in November. Playoff dreams lie shattered on the frozen tundra of The Big House, leaving us with a winter of existential dread and a fridge full of consolation buckeyes (hey, they're a food group... right?). But fear not, my fellow scarlet and gray brethren! There's still a sliver, a teeny tiny sliver of a chance for the Bucks to crash the playoff party. Let's delve into the fantastical, improbable, and downright hilarious things that need to happen for Ohio State to snag that coveted fourth spot.
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| What Needs To Happen For Ohio State To Make The Playoffs |
Act I: The Chaos Cascade
Imagine a butterfly flapping its wings in Waco, Texas, and causing a hurricane of upsets across the college football landscape. That's the kind of cosmic intervention the Buckeyes need. Here's the play-by-play of this beautiful, ridiculous dream:
- The Big 12 Meltdown: Texas, currently strutting around like a rooster in a chicken coop, needs to get absolutely DEMOLISHED by the underdog Oklahoma State Cowboys. We're talking a pick-six on the opening play, a fumble recovery touchdown, the whole shebang.
- The Pac-12 Puzzle: Honestly, anything goes out west. Just as long as it's not Washington waltzing into the playoff.
- The SEC Showdown: We need Georgia to have a close call, a nail-biter, a game that leaves them slightly bruised and questioning their place in the universe. A win is fine, but a close one keeps the committee intrigued.
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Act II: The Wolverine Wait
Now, here comes the truly agonizing part. We, the ever-faithful Buckeye Nation, must endure the ultimate betrayal. Yes, you read that right. Our arch nemesis, the team up north, needs to win the Big Ten Championship against Iowa. It goes against every fiber of our being, but swallow that scarlet and gray pride for a second. A Michigan win keeps the Big Ten in the playoff picture, potentially opening the door for... you guessed it... Ohio State.
Act III: The Improbable Invitation
QuickTip: Revisit posts more than once.
If this cosmic ballet unfolds perfectly, with upsets raining down like confetti and Michigan emerging victorious (grumble grumble), then the College Football Playoff committee will have a fascinating decision on their hands. Do they take a one-loss Ohio State or a team with a weaker conference showing? It's a gamble, folks, and one that might just go our way!
FAQ: Buckeye Playoff Edition
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Q: How to stomach cheering for Michigan?
QuickTip: Pause when something clicks.
A: Stock up on antacids and copious amounts of scarlet and gray gear. Wear the gear proudly, then mute the TV during any Michigan highlights.
Q: How to mentally prepare for disappointment?
A: This is a life skill for any Ohio State fan. Retail therapy is a perfectly acceptable coping mechanism.
Q: What if none of this happens?
Tip: Watch for summary phrases — they give the gist.
A: Distract yourself with summer vacations, backyard barbeques, and planning your next tailgate outfit. The season will be here before you know it.
Q: How can I stay updated on the playoff drama?
A: Live on Twitter, refreshing every 2 seconds. That, or avoid social media altogether and embrace the blissful ignorance.
Q: Who can I blame if Ohio State doesn't make the playoffs?
A: Honestly, anyone and everyone. But mostly the refs, the weatherman, and that squirrel who ran in front of the bus carrying CJ Stroud.
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