Don't Get Gritty with It: A (Mostly) Comedic Look at Safe Phillyhoods
Philly cheesesteaks? Iconic. Liberty Bell? Ringing true (hopefully not in your ears after a night out). But what about safety? Is venturing beyond the cheesesteak zone an invitation for a Rocky-style brawl? Fear not, intrepid adventurer, for Philly offers a smorgasbord of safe neighborhoods, each with its own quirky charm.
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| What Parts Of Philadelphia Are Safe |
The Safe Bet Bunch:
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Society Hill & Rittenhouse Square: Think money trees and fancy dogs. These posh areas boast low crime rates, but be prepared to dodge the occasional broker in a too-tight suit power-walking to a deal.
University City: Home to Penn and Drexel brainboxes, this neighborhood is practically patrolled by PhDs. Crime? More likely to find a misplaced thesis than a mugger.
Chestnut Hill: Think upscale suburbs plopped right in the city. Think manicured lawns and neighbors who judge you for using the wrong fork. Safety's a guarantee, but prepare for a side of side-eye.
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Beyond the Obvious:
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Fishtown: Once a haven for artists and the formerly incarcerated (don't worry, they've all moved on to lucrative NFT careers), Fishtown is now teeming with trendy bars and young professionals. Just keep an eye out for bachelorette parties that might spill onto the sidewalk with the emotional intensity of a Shakespearean drama.
Manayunk: Forget the canals of Venice, Manayunk offers scenic river views and a happening nightlife scene. Just avoid accidentally joining a kickball game – those things get competitive.
Remember: No place is perfect, and even the safest Philly pockets have their own brand of weird. But with a little street smarts and a healthy dose of "stranger danger," you'll be navigating the city like a cheesesteak-chomping champ.
FAQs:
- How to avoid tourists on the cheesesteak hunt? Head to Pat's or Geno's – they're tourist traps for a reason, but the lines move fast.
- How to deal with a rogue cheesesteak drip? Embrace the mess. It's a badge of honor (and a reminder to bring napkins).
- How to survive a Philly sports fan meltdown? Just nod sympathetically and offer a soft "pretzel?" They'll understand.
- How to find the best cheesesteak? This is a matter of fierce local debate. Ask ten people, get eleven opinions.
- How to avoid getting lost in the city's confusing layout? Download a map app, and pray for a good sense of direction. (Or just follow the smell of cheesesteaks.)
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