So You Wanna Know: East Side or West Side Story? A Totally Unofficial Guide to Melbourne's Sides
Ah, Melbourne. A city of laneways, trams, and enough coffee to fuel a small rocket. But for the geographically challenged (like myself, on occasion), a question can arise that's more existential than philosophical: east side or west side?
Fear not, fellow Melburnian explorer! This guide will have you navigating Melbourne's sides like a seasoned tram driver (minus the questionable fashion sense).
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| What Side Of Melbourne Am I On |
The Great Yarra Divide: A Tale of Two Cities (Kind Of)
Melbourne is bisected by the mighty Yarra River, a waterway that winds its way through the city like a caffeinated silver snake. This, my friends, is our dividing line. But unlike, say, the Berlin Wall (thankfully), the Yarra divide is more about vibes than actual barriers.
East Side: Think artsy, bohemian, and a touch hipster. Here you'll find Fitzroy's street art, Collingwood's cool bars, and Abbotsford's converted warehouses-turned-designer-stores. Basically, eastsiders like their flat whites strong and their ironic mustaches perfectly groomed.
QuickTip: Focus on one line if it feels important.
West Side: Sports nuts, rejoice! The west side is all about sporting glory, with the MCG and Docklands drawing in the crowds. It's also got a more relaxed, family-friendly vibe, with parks aplenty and a slower pace (except maybe on game day).
But Wait! There's More!
Now, before you start a rumble like the Jets and the Sharks, remember: Melbourne's a city that defies easy categorization. There are hidden gems on both sides, and some suburbs (like Southbank) play by their own quirky rules. Plus, who wants to be confined to just one side? Tram hopping and exploring is half the fun!
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So, How Do I Know Which Side I'm On?
1. Check the sunrise/sunset: Facing the sunrise? East side. Witnessing a glorious sunset? West side (high five for the view!).
2. Ask a local: Strike up a conversation and see if they identify as an eastsider or a westsider. Bonus points for a passionate explanation of why their side is superior (it's all good-natured ribbing, really).
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3. Follow your nose: The east side has a certain...artisanal aroma, a blend of coffee, incense, and that one vintage clothing store that just refuses to air out. The west side smells a bit more...barbecue and freshly cut grass.
QuickTip: Revisit posts more than once.
4. Spot the sporting memorabilia: Footy scarves and Docklands flags? West side for sure. Street art murals and independent bookstores? East side, my friend.
## East vs. West: Frequently Asked Questions
How to sound like a local: East side: "Gonna grab a bev down on Brunswick St." West side: "Fair dinkum, that MCG game was a cracker!"
Note: Skipping ahead? Don’t miss the middle sections.
How to dress for the occasion: East side: Vintage band tees and ripped jeans. West side: Sports jerseys and comfy shoes (gotta be ready for that post-barbecue stroll).
How to choose a cafe: East side: Single origin, pour-over, oat milk latte. West side: Flat white, strong enough to wake the dead, with a side of bacon and eggs.
How to get around: East side: Bikes and trams are king (or queen, depending on your preference). West side: Cars are more common, but there's still decent public transport.
How to decide which side is better? Don't! Melbourne's beauty lies in its diversity. Embrace both sides, and tram your way to a good time!
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