The Great Lakes? More Like the Great Puddles: What Happens to Michigan When the Ice Caps Say "Sayonara"?
Let's face it, folks, climate change is a real bummer. But hey, if we're stuck staring down the barrel of a melted ice cap apocalypse, why not take a moment to ponder the gloriously weird future of our fair state, Michigan?
Sun's Out, Guns Out (Maybe Not Literally, But Definitely Bring Sunscreen)
First things first: Michigan is about to get a serious tan. Those cozy winter mittens you hold so dear? Donate them to Antarctica (if it's still around). Sea levels are gonna rise by a whopping 200 feet, so say goodbye to coastlines and hello to a whole lot of beachfront property... for those who live on, well, actual mountains.
Subheading: Don't worry, Mackinac Island fudge is waterproof. Probably.
The Great Lakes? More Like the Great... Salt Lakes? (Maybe Not, But Definitely Bigger)
Those beloved Great Lakes we take for granted? Get ready for a makeover! Lake Superior might actually deserve its superlative title, swallowing up the entire Upper Peninsula and turning Isle Royale into a real island (sorry, Yoopers). Lake Michigan would become one giant lake again, merging with Lake Huron and saying "deuces" to the mitten shape we all know and love. Basically, Michigan would become a giant archipelago, perfect for those who crave an island life (minus the Mai Tais).
Subheading: Hey Canada, looks like we're annexing a whole lot of nothing.
Winter is Coming... Eventually. But Not Really.
Remember those glorious snow days? Those epic snowball fights? A distant memory, my friends. With no ice caps to reflect heat back into space, summers will be scorching and winters will be... well, not much of anything. Prepare for endless autumns, the official season of "wait, is it hot or is this just the heat death of the planet?"
Subheading: Up the resale value on those shorts, folks!
How to Survive the Great Michigan Melt (Because Why Not?)
While this whole melted ice cap thing sounds pretty apocalyptic, let's embrace the chaos, shall we? Here are some helpful hints for navigating the new and improved Michigan:
FAQ:
- How to: Kayak to work? Invest in a good life vest and a waterproof briefcase.
- How to: Stay cool? Become best friends with your local ice cream vendor (and maybe invest in stock).
- How to: Get around? Dust off that old seaplane you "meant to get around to fixing."
- How to: Explain this to your grandkids? Just show them pictures of glaciers and tell them, "Kids, those things used to be HUGE."
- How to: Maintain a sense of humor? Well, that one's on you, champ.
💡 This page may contain affiliate links — we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
