The Great Molasses Flood...of Super Mutants?! How Those Brainy Brawlers Came to Boston
Ah, the Super Mutants of Boston. Lumbering green giants with a vocabulary that mostly consists of grunts and the occasional existential question ("Why smash puny human?"). But how, exactly, did these irradiated behemoths end up wandering the streets of the Commonwealth? Buckle up, wastelanders, because this one's a wilder ride than a Radroach on a jetpack.
Theory 1: Vault-Tec's Dastardly Dumping Ground
We all know Vault-Tec had a knack for wacky experiments, right? Maybe Vault 87 (the one that turned everyone into glowing ghouls, bless their irradiated hearts) had a secret sub-basement dedicated to, you guessed it, creating an army of super soldiers! Except, whoops, something went wrong, and now we've got a bunch of confused, angry green dudes wandering around muttering about "purestrain" and misplaced spatulas.
Tip: Patience makes reading smoother.
Hold your radroach horses! This theory has some holes bigger than a Mirelurk Queen's appetite. For starters, the Fallout 4 Vault-Tec experiments focused on radiation, not FEV (the Forced Evolutionary Virus that cooks up Super Mutants).
Theory 2: The Institute's "Super Duper" Synths Gone Wrong
QuickTip: Repetition reinforces learning.
Those eggheads at the Institute are always tinkering with things they shouldn't. Maybe they got their hands on some FEV and decided to, ahem, "improve" their synth production line. Imagine a synth with the strength of a Brahmin and the obedience of a pre-war toaster! Except, again, something went haywire, and now the Commonwealth is crawling with rogue super mutant synths with a serious case of the Mondays.
Debunking the Synth-pocalypse! While the Institute did experiment with FEV, their main focus was on synths. The Super Mutants we see seem more...organically mutated, not cybernetically enhanced.
QuickTip: A quick skim can reveal the main idea fast.
So, what's the real story? Honestly, wasteland wanderer, the jury's still out. Maybe it's a combination of these theories, or maybe there's something else entirely at play. Until we find some old dusty lab notes (or a super mutant with a surprising talent for scrapbooking), the origins of Boston's brainy brawlers remain a mystery.
Bonus! How To Deal with Super Mutants (Because Sometimes You Gotta Fight Fire With Rage)
Tip: Slow down when you hit important details.
How to: Sneak Past a Super Mutant Quick Answer: Distract them with a shiny pre-war toy car (bonus points for a Mister Handy model) and tiptoe on by like a radroach in the night.
How to: Befriend a Super Mutant Quick Answer: This one's a crapshoot. Maybe try offering them a steady supply of Nuka-Cola and praising their impressive muscle tone. But beware, even a friendly super mutant can accidentally turn your head into paste during a playful hug.
How to: Bargain with a Super Mutant Quick Answer: Learn some basic Super Mutant speak (key phrases include "Strong smash!" and "Leave Strong alone!"). Offer them something they want (scrap metal, shiny objects, maybe a good old-fashioned fight) and hope they see reason.
How to: Kill a Super Mutant Quick Answer: Big guns, explosives, a well-placed sneak attack – the options are endless (and messy). Just remember, these guys are tough, so come prepared.
How to: Avoid Super Mutants Altogether Quick Answer: Stick to well-lit areas, listen for their roars, and if you see one, run like your Vault jumpsuit depends on it!