Mr. Solway: The Many Nicknames (None Particularly Flattering) Bestowed by Bear and Aaron (Those Two Geniuses) at Portland Street Assisted Living
Ah, Portland Street Assisted Living. A haven for the elderly, a purgatory for middle-schoolers sentenced to community service (looking at you, Chase Ambrose!), and a breeding ground for...well, let's just say Bear and Aaron's unique brand of "wit." These two clowns, bless their pea-sized brains, couldn't resist turning Mr. Solway, a decorated war veteran, into their own personal nickname pi�ata.
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| How Do Bear And Aaron Refer To Mr. Solway At Portland Street |
A Symphony of Insults (Or Lack Thereof)
Now, you might think these two would go for the classic "old man" or "geezer" route. But no, Bear and Aaron were determined to be...special. Here's a glimpse into their "creative" minds:
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- The Grunt Master: This one stemmed purely from laziness. Responding to Mr. Solway's requests with a grunt seemed easier than actual words, you see.
- Medal-less Marty: This "gem" came about after, ahem, a certain medal went "missing" for a while (cough, cough, Chase). Let's just say Mr. Solway wasn't thrilled.
- Wheezy McWheezerson: Apparently, Mr. Solway's breathing wasn't up to Bear and Aaron's standards. Because apparently, senior citizens should be the picture of perfect health?
- The Narrative Nightmare: This wasn't a nickname, but a running gag. Mr. Solway, a war veteran, had a treasure trove of stories. Bear and Aaron, however, had the attention span of a goldfish. So, their solution? Interrupt him with nonsensical questions at every turn. ("Wait, were there, like, dinosaurs in the war?")
Please note: These are but a few examples. Bear and Aaron's "creativity" knew no bounds (or taste).
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Mr. Solway Takes Revenge (Not Really, But Almost)
Let's be honest, Mr. Solway deserved a medal for putting up with these two. He mostly ignored their antics, occasionally throwing a withering stare their way. But there was one instance where he almost had his revenge. Remember the time Bear "accidentally" spilled his prune juice on Mr. Solway's prized war medals display? Let's just say the ensuing lecture on respect and responsibility was enough to make even Aaron blush (or maybe that was just the prune juice fumes?).
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FAQ: How to Survive Portland Street Assisted Living with Bear and Aaron
1. How to Avoid Being Nicknamed? There's no guaranteed method, but keeping your distance and maintaining eye contact might help.
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2. How to Respond to Their "Jokes"? A polite smile and a slow retreat are your best options.
3. How to Deal with Prune Juice Disasters? Keep a roll of paper towels handy. You'll thank us later.
4. How to Actually Get Something Done at Portland Street? Befriend Mr. Solway. He may be old-school, but he appreciates effort.
5. How to Get Out of Community Service Altogether? Don't follow Chase Ambrose's example. Just be a good kid!
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