How to Actually See a Bronco in the Playoffs: A Guide for the Optimistic Fan
Let's face it, Denver and the playoffs haven't exactly been BFFs lately. But fear not, fellow orange-blooded faithful! We can still chase that postseason dream, because hey, isn't that what being a fan is all about? A little hope, a sprinkle of delusion, and a whole lot of screaming at the TV.
 |
| How Does Denver Make The Playoffs |
Step 1: Channel Your Inner Fortune Teller
This is crucial. We need to see the future, like some kind of gridiron Gandalf. You know, that future where the Broncos dominate every game, the opposing quarterbacks throw interceptions like confetti, and Russell Wilson (or whoever's slinging the pigskin) has a completion percentage that would make Peyton Manning blush.
Pro Tip: Stock up on orange Gatorade for your crystal ball visions. Just don't spill it on your Von Miller jersey.
Step 2: Build an Alliance with the Football Gods
Look, winning takes more than just good vibes. We need to appease the higher powers of the NFL. Here are your options:
QuickTip: Don’t just consume — reflect.
- Sacrifice Offerings: A signed Tim Tebow jersey might do the trick. (Sorry, Tim!)
- Endless Chants of "Let's Go Broncos!" Maybe even learn the national anthem for good measure.
- Bribe the Referees with Extra Mile High Stadium Nachos: A Denver classic, and who can resist that cheese sauce? (Disclaimer: Bribing refs is highly illegal and definitely not endorsed by this blog.)
Remember: Be sincere in your offerings. The Football Gods can smell desperation from a mile away.
Step 3: Embrace the Power of Positive Thinking
Positivity is key, folks. Imagine the victory parade, the confetti raining down, the city bathed in orange light. See it so vividly that you practically taste the celebratory Rocky Mountain Oysters (though maybe skip that part for the uninitiated).
Bonus Points: Wear your Broncos jersey every single day, even to dentist appointments. Let your unwavering fandom be a beacon of hope for all to see.
Tip: Check back if you skimmed too fast.
## Important Disclaimer
 |
This is not a scientific, guaranteed method for Denver reaching the playoffs. There's still a chance we'll be watching the postseason from our couches, munching on cold pizza and existential dread. But hey, at least we went down swinging (or maybe that's just the ceiling fan from all the jumping up and down).
## FAQ: How to Broncos
Tip: Each paragraph has one main idea — find it.
How to channel my inner fortune teller? Meditation, disco music (it worked for John Elway in the 80s), or a healthy dose of self-belief.
How to appease the Football Gods? Offerings, unwavering faith, and maybe a good luck charm shaped like a bronco.
How to embrace positive thinking? Visualization, orange-tinted glasses (metaphorically speaking), and a constant loop of John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads" (but substitute "Denver" for "home").
QuickTip: Skim slowly, read deeply.
How to prepare for potential disappointment? Stock up on comfort food, have a designated friend to commiserate with, and maybe rewatch some Super Bowl 50 highlights.
How to stay a Broncos fan? Easy. Through thick and thin, orange blood runs deep.
 |
