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Los Angeles: The Human-Sized Oven
Yesterday, Los Angeles decided to channel its inner volcano. Or maybe it was just practicing for its audition for the next "Planet of the Apes" movie. Either way, the city was hotter than a Kardashian's stylist's iron.
It Was So Hot...
- ...that the sidewalks were sizzling like bacon.
- ...that the pigeons were circling above, looking for shade.
- ...that the cacti were sweating. Okay, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea.
Now, I'm no meteorologist, but I'm pretty sure the temperature reached levels normally reserved for the surface of the sun. I heard rumors of people spontaneously combusting in their cars. Okay, maybe not, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone tried to park their car in the oven instead of the garage.
Survival Tips for the Next Heat Wave
If you're planning a trip to LA anytime soon, here are a few tips:
- Wear sunscreen: This isn't optional. Think of it as armor against the sun's evil rays.
- Stay hydrated: Chug water like it's your job. Or, you know, actually drink water like it's your job.
- Find shade: Trees, umbrellas, buildings – anything that blocks the sun.
- Embrace the indoor life: Libraries, malls, and movie theaters are your new best friends.
- Invest in a good fan: Or, if you're feeling fancy, a personal air conditioner.
How to Survive the LA Heat
How to stay cool without AC?
- Answer: Embrace the power of water. Take cold showers, use ice packs, or mist yourself with a spray bottle.
How to prevent heatstroke?
- Answer: Listen to your body. If you feel dizzy, nauseous, or confused, seek shade immediately and drink plenty of fluids.
How to keep your house cool?
- Answer: Close blinds and curtains during the day, open windows at night, and use fans strategically.
How to dress for the heat?
- Answer: Opt for light-colored, loose-fitting clothing made from breathable fabrics.
How to cool down your car?
- Answer: Park in the shade whenever possible, crack the windows slightly to allow air circulation, and use seat covers to reflect heat.