How Many Bishops Does Portland Need, Anyway?
So, you want to know how many bishops are in the Archdiocese of Portland, huh? Well, buckle up, because this is about to get deep.
How Many Bishops Are In The Archdiocese Of Portland |
A Bishop Bonanza?
Let’s start with the obvious: more than you think. I mean, who needs that many people telling others what to do, right? It's like having a million bosses, but in robes. I picture a giant, ecclesiastical game of chess, where the bishops are constantly trying to checkmate each other. Or maybe they’re just really good at monopoly.
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The Bishop Breakdown
Now, let’s get serious for a sec. The Archdiocese of Portland actually has a pretty standard bishop setup. There’s usually:
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- One Archbishop: This is the big cheese, the pope of Portland (not really, but close enough). They’re the boss of all the other bishops.
- A Few Auxiliary Bishops: These are like the bishop’s helpers. They’re there to lend a hand, or a miter, or whatever bishops need.
So, unless there's been a recent bishop baby boom, we're probably looking at a handful of bishops total. But hey, who’s counting? Not me, that’s for sure.
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Bishop Math: It’s a Numbers Game
Trying to figure out the exact number of bishops is like trying to count the grains of sand on a beach while wearing oven mitts. It's possible, but why bother? Let’s just say it’s enough to fill a small chapel.
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Bishop or Not Bishop? That is the Question
Of course, there’s always the possibility of honorary bishops, retired bishops, and bishops on sabbatical. It’s like a bishop revolving door. So, the real question is: who’s actually in charge? And more importantly, do they serve good coffee?
In conclusion, the number of bishops in the Archdiocese of Portland is probably more than you care about, but less than you imagined. And if you’re still curious, I suggest you contact the Archdiocese directly. They might even give you a free rosary. Or maybe a headache.
How To Bishop-Related Questions
How to become a bishop: Well, start praying, and maybe take up some serious theological studies.How to spot a bishop: Look for fancy hats and robes. Or just ask them. They’re usually pretty open about it.How to avoid a bishop: Wear headphones and pretend you can’t hear them. Or become a really good hide-and-seek player.How to impress a bishop: Bring them chocolate. Everyone loves chocolate.How to survive a bishop’s lecture: Count the number of times they say “amen.” It’s a surprisingly effective distraction.