How Many Cars Drowned in Baltimore? A Tale of Woe and Water
So, you want to know how many cars took a swim in the chilly waters of Baltimore? Well, buckle up, because this is a story filled with more twists and turns than a rollercoaster at Six Flags.
How Many Cars Went Into The Water In Baltimore |
The Great Baltimore Bridge Bath
Let's rewind a bit. It all started with a bridge. A perfectly fine, seemingly innocent bridge, mind you. But then, bam, a big ol' ship decided it wanted a closer look at the bridge's underwater foundation. And by "closer look," we mean "full-on collision."
Next thing you know, a chunk of the bridge is taking a dip, and with it, a handful of unfortunate vehicles. It was like a real-life game of "Carpool Karaoke," but with a much less glamorous ending.
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Counting Cars: A Numbers Game
Now, you might be thinking, "Okay, smart guy, how many cars actually ended up in the drink?" Well, that’s a tricky question. Imagine trying to count jellybeans in a jar while blindfolded and underwater. That's basically the level of difficulty we're dealing with here.
But fear not, the internet sleuths were on the case. Some said five, others claimed more. It was like a real-life episode of "Unsolved Mysteries," but with fewer aliens and more sunken sedans.
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The Aftermath: Fish Are the Real Winners
While the car owners were probably having a less than stellar day, the fish in the harbor were probably throwing a party. Free snacks! And who needs a fancy aquarium when you've got a whole buffet of car parts?
In the end, the whole ordeal was a major bummer for everyone involved. Except maybe the fish. Those guys were living the dream.
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How To...
How to avoid being a car submarine?
- Avoid driving over bridges that look like they're about to have a party with a big ship.
- Invest in a good pair of scuba gear (just kidding).
- Pay attention to traffic alerts and news reports.
How to become a fish's best friend?
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- Offer free car parts (again, kidding).
- Learn to speak fish (seriously, who knows how to do that?).
- Just be a really nice person.
How to count cars underwater?
- Get really good at holding your breath.
- Develop x-ray vision.
- Hire a professional deep-sea treasure hunter.
How to build a bridge that can withstand a ship collision?
- Consult with a marine biologist.
- Ask a superhero for advice.
- Hire a really good engineer (who isn't afraid of water).
How to turn this into a catchy song?
- Find a really good songwriter.
- Have a lot of caffeine.
- Don't forget to include a catchy chorus about sunken cars.