You Heard There Were Explosions at the Boston Marathon? Here's the Lowdown (Minus the Literal Lowdown, That Wasn't Cool)
The Boston Marathon is known for two things: ridiculously impressive athletic feats (think running for like, ever) and cheering crowds so loud you might lose a hearing aid (though hopefully not). But unfortunately, back in 2013, the race was marred by a terrible event. Yes, there were explosions.
Hold on, wasn't that, like, a movie? Nope, this was real life, and way less dramatic than Hollywood makes it seem (thankfully, no giant alien spaceships showed up). Two bombs went off near the finish line, injuring hundreds and causing a massive commotion.
But how many people died? This is where things get heavy. Three people tragically lost their lives in the explosions. They were Krystle Campbell, a restaurant manager with a smile that could light up a room, Lü Lingzi, a brilliant Chinese graduate student, and Martin Richard, an eight-year-old boy who was there to cheer on his dad. They are all deeply missed.
Okay, so that's the somber part. Now, how about a joke to lighten the mood? (Because that's what us humor writers do, even in the face of tragedy. We're a curious breed.) Here's one: Why did the terrorist get disqualified from the Boston Marathon? He bombed! (I'm going to hell for that one, aren't I?)
Look, in all seriousness, the Boston Marathon bombing was a terrible event. But the city of Boston is strong, and the race has gone on. Every year, it's a celebration of resilience and the human spirit.
Frequently Asked Questions (Because the Internet Never Sleeps):
How to Donate to the Boston Marathon Bombing Memorial? Head over to the One Boston Day website – they have all the info you need.
How to Train for a Marathon (the Safe Way)? There are a ton of resources online, but a good coach is your best bet. Your knees will thank you.
How to Cheer on Runners Without Being Obnoxious? Wear comfortable shoes (because you'll be standing for a while), bring a noisemaker (bells are fun!), and most importantly, be enthusiastic but respectful of other spectators.
How to Avoid Getting Lost at the Marathon? Pick a landmark near where you're parked and use that as your home base. Buddy up with someone so you don't wander off. Phone chargers are also a lifesaver.
How to Make Sure Your Running Outfit is Aerodynamic (and Stylish)? Comfort over fashion, my friend. But hey, if you can find something that looks good and lets you breathe, more power to you.
