The Great Portland Snowpocalypse of... Nevermind, It's July
Ah, Portland. Where the rain whispers sweet nothings most of the year, and the sight of a snowflake sends the city into a delightful tizzy. So, you're here, probably shovel (or spork, we don't judge) in hand, wondering: just how many inches of snow did our fair metropolis get dumped on this time?
Well, fret no more, snow enthusiasts (or those secretly hoping for a snow day)! Buckle up, because we're about to unravel the mystery... of a non-existent snowfall. That's right, folks, Portland currently boasts a whopping zero inches of the white stuff. Shocking, we know.
Now, before you start questioning the very fabric of reality (because let's face it, a snowless Portland in July is a bit of a mind-bender), allow us to elaborate.
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| How Many Inches Of Snow Did Portland Get |
Did Someone Forget to Mention It's the Middle of Summer?
Yes, folks. Unless you've stumbled into some bizarre alternate reality where penguins rule the world, it's currently July. The month of barbeques, fireworks, and questionable tan lines. Not exactly prime time for a blizzard.
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So, if you woke up to sunshine streaming through your window instead of a winter wonderland, don't panic. It's all according to plan (Mother Nature's slightly wacky plan, that is).
But What About Those Flurry Rumors?
Ah, the whispers on the internet. Sometimes, a particularly enthusiastic shaved ice vendor can cause a social media frenzy. Rest assured, the only flurry you're likely to encounter is of the social media variety.
Portland remains firmly in the realm of sunshine and sandals, not snowmen and snowball fights.
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FAQ: You Asked, We Answered (Even Though You Probably Didn't Ask)
Now, onto the burning questions that might be swirling in your head:
How to prepare for a future Portland snowpocalypse?
Easy! Stock up on sunscreen and swimsuits. Just kidding (kind of). Keep an eye on the weather forecast and have some basic supplies on hand, just in case. But honestly, a good rain jacket and some cozy socks will probably do the trick.
QuickTip: Slow down if the pace feels too fast.
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How to build a snowman in Portland?
First, gather a small army of friends and family. You'll need all the manpower you can get to sculpt thatFrosty masterpiece from the meager snowflakes that may (or may not) fall.
How to convince your boss that the lack of snow is a legitimate reason to call in sick?
QuickTip: A slow read reveals hidden insights.
Look, we wouldn't recommend it. But hey, if you can spin a yarn about emotional distress caused by the absence of a winter wonderland, more power to you. Just be prepared for some serious side-eye from your colleagues.
How to deal with the crushing disappointment of no snow day?
Retail therapy? A vat of ice cream? We won't judge. Channel those snow day vibes into a summer adventure! Hit the beach, have a picnic in the park, or just relax with a good book.
How to find actual snow in July?
Mount Hood beckons, my friend! Just a short drive away, you can get your fill of wintery fun. Pack your layers, grab your skis (or a snowball), and embrace the frosty goodness.
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