The Great Boston Snowmageddon of... July 13th?
Ah, yes, the age-old question that plagues Bostonians every single... July.
We all know the drill. You wake up, bleary-eyed and craving a Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee (because let's face it, folks, it's never too early for that sweet, sweet caffeine nectar). You stumble to the window, expecting to be greeted by a crisp autumn breeze and the promise of pumpkin spice lattes on the horizon. But instead... what do you see? A blizzard?
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Relax, my friend. Grab another donut (because why not?), because let me assure you, there is a distinct lack of snowfall happening in Boston today. Unless, of course, your freezer decided to stage a dramatic escape and unleash its icy wrath upon your unsuspecting kitchen.
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Now, before you start prepping your snow boots and emergency supply of clam chowder (because let's be real, that's the only appropriate blizzard food), here's a scientifically-proven fact (courtesy of yours truly, the internet): it is July 13th. Snow is about as likely as finding a decent parking spot in downtown Boston... which is to say, not very.
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But hey, if you're still feeling a bit bummed about the lack of a snowy wonderland, fear not! Here are some perfectly acceptable substitutes for your Bostonian winter fix:
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- Blast your air conditioning to arctic levels and pretend you're building a snowman out of strategically placed pillows.
- Head to the grocery store and stock up on rock salt. You won't need it for the roads, but hey, at least you'll be prepared for next winter (or maybe a rogue ice cream truck incident).
- Channel your inner Elsa and belt out "Let it Go" at the top of your lungs. Just be warned, your neighbors might not appreciate it.
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| How Many Inches Of Snow In Boston Today |
FAQ: How to Survive a Boston Summer (Because Apparently Snow Isn't a Threat)
- How to avoid spontaneous combustion? Easy! Stay hydrated (ahem, Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee, anyone?) and wear light, breathable clothing.
- How to deal with the crushing disappointment of no snow day? Retail therapy is always a good option. Just remember, the summer sales won't dig you out of a financial blizzard.
- How to perfect the art of the summer cookout? Master the art of grilling and perfect your potato salad recipe. Because let's face it, food is always the answer.
- How to keep cool when the heat is on? Beaches, air conditioning, and copious amounts of ice cream are your best friends.
- How to prepare for the inevitable return of winter? Stock up on cozy sweaters, mental fortitude, and a strong appreciation for the simple things in life, like a steaming cup of hot cocoa on a snowy day. (Yes, yes, we know winter will eventually come.)
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