The Great Boston Snowmageddon of... July 13th?
Ah, yes, the age-old question that plagues Bostonians every single... July.
We all know the drill. You wake up, bleary-eyed and craving a Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee (because let's face it, folks, it's never too early for that sweet, sweet caffeine nectar). You stumble to the window, expecting to be greeted by a crisp autumn breeze and the promise of pumpkin spice lattes on the horizon. But instead... what do you see? A blizzard?
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Relax, my friend. Grab another donut (because why not?), because let me assure you, there is a distinct lack of snowfall happening in Boston today. Unless, of course, your freezer decided to stage a dramatic escape and unleash its icy wrath upon your unsuspecting kitchen.
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Now, before you start prepping your snow boots and emergency supply of clam chowder (because let's be real, that's the only appropriate blizzard food), here's a scientifically-proven fact (courtesy of yours truly, the internet): it is July 13th. Snow is about as likely as finding a decent parking spot in downtown Boston... which is to say, not very.
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But hey, if you're still feeling a bit bummed about the lack of a snowy wonderland, fear not! Here are some perfectly acceptable substitutes for your Bostonian winter fix:
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- Blast your air conditioning to arctic levels and pretend you're building a snowman out of strategically placed pillows.
- Head to the grocery store and stock up on rock salt. You won't need it for the roads, but hey, at least you'll be prepared for next winter (or maybe a rogue ice cream truck incident).
- Channel your inner Elsa and belt out "Let it Go" at the top of your lungs. Just be warned, your neighbors might not appreciate it.
How Many Inches Of Snow In Boston Today |
FAQ: How to Survive a Boston Summer (Because Apparently Snow Isn't a Threat)
- How to avoid spontaneous combustion? Easy! Stay hydrated (ahem, Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee, anyone?) and wear light, breathable clothing.
- How to deal with the crushing disappointment of no snow day? Retail therapy is always a good option. Just remember, the summer sales won't dig you out of a financial blizzard.
- How to perfect the art of the summer cookout? Master the art of grilling and perfect your potato salad recipe. Because let's face it, food is always the answer.
- How to keep cool when the heat is on? Beaches, air conditioning, and copious amounts of ice cream are your best friends.
- How to prepare for the inevitable return of winter? Stock up on cozy sweaters, mental fortitude, and a strong appreciation for the simple things in life, like a steaming cup of hot cocoa on a snowy day. (Yes, yes, we know winter will eventually come.)