Bridge Over Troubled Water (or Not)
So, you wanna know how many people kicked the bucket when that bridge in Baltimore decided to take a swan dive into the river? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because this story is as dramatic as a soap opera, but with less crying and more heavy machinery.
How Many People Were Killed In The Baltimore Bridge Collapse |
Six Feet Under the Patapsco
Let's cut to the chase: six people lost their lives in that unfortunate incident. That’s right, six brave souls who were just trying to do their job and ended up becoming unintended aquatic explorers. It’s a tragic tale, no doubt, but hey, at least they didn’t have to worry about traffic anymore.
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Now, you might be thinking, "Six people? That's a whole lot of people to lose to a bridge!" And you'd be absolutely correct. It's like a scene out of a disaster movie, but without the gratuitous explosions and the obligatory love story.
Tip: Skim once, study twice.
A Bridge Too Far
The bridge, by the way, was having a bit of an identity crisis. One moment it was a sturdy, reliable connector of two landmasses, and the next, it was a giant Jenga tower that decided to call it quits. Talk about a midlife crisis!
Tip: The middle often holds the main point.
We can only imagine the chaos that ensued. Cars honking, people screaming, and probably a few seagulls laughing their heads off. It was a scene straight out of a cartoon, minus the exaggerated sound effects.
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The Aftermath
The aftermath? Well, that's a whole other can of worms. There were rescue efforts, investigations, and probably a lot of paperwork. And let’s not forget the poor fish who had to deal with all that extra debris. It's like they won the lottery and lost it all at the same time.
How To...
- How to avoid being a bridge victim: Stay off bridges during severe weather, avoid walking or driving on bridges that look suspicious, and always wear a life jacket when crossing a bridge (just kidding on that last one).
- How to become a bridge inspector: Get a degree in engineering, develop a deep love for concrete, and be prepared to spend a lot of time looking up.
- How to build a bridge that won't collapse: Hire a good engineer, use high-quality materials, and avoid hiring any contractors named "Speedy Gonzalez."
- How to swim to safety if a bridge collapses: Be able to hold your breath for an extended period, have strong swimming skills, and carry a flotation device with you at all times (again, just kidding on that last one).
- How to deal with the emotional trauma of witnessing a bridge collapse: Seek professional help, talk to friends and family, and avoid watching any disaster movies for a while.