The Existential Crisis of a Detroit Lions Fan: Counting Playoff Wins (Spoiler Alert: It's Not a High Number)
Ah, the Detroit Lions. A team steeped in tradition, with a fan base as loyal as they are masochistic (myself included). We bleed Honolulu Blue and Silver, and our Sundays are a glorious mix of hope and dread. But there's one question that haunts Lions fans more than a bad case of the fumbles: how many playoff wins do they actually have?
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| How Many Playoff Wins Do The Detroit Lions Have |
Is There an Echo in Here? Not Quite, But It Feels Like It
The answer, my friends, is a number that could double as a participation trophy applicant count: nine. Yes, you read that right. Nine. Nine whole playoff wins in the grand scheme of NFL history. Now, some might say "nine wins ain't bad!" But for a franchise that hasn't sniffed a Super Bowl appearance and whose idea of a deep playoff run is escaping the Wild Card round, well, let's just say nine feels a bit...lacking.
Reminder: Reading twice often makes things clearer.
A Brief History Lesson (Because We All Need a Laugh)
- The Glory Days (Pre-1950s): Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, the Lions (then the Portsmouth Spartans) actually had some playoff success. We're talking championships, folks! But let's be honest, who remembers the pre-merger days of football? Exactly.
- The Modern Era (A Series of Unfortunate Events): Since the Super Bowl era began, things have been a tad...disappointing. Sure, we've had a few exciting playoff appearances (Barry Sanders running wild anyone?), but ultimately, they all end in heartbreak. It's like that ex who keeps promising they've changed, but then...well, you know.
So, What Does This Mean for the Future?
Here's the beauty of being a Lions fan: eternal optimism. Sure, the past may be a graveyard of playoff hopes, but who knows what the future holds? Maybe this year will be different! Maybe our young quarterback will be the chosen one! Maybe pigs will fly. (Don't hold your breath on that last one.)
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Frequently Asked Questions (Because You Probably Have Them)
How to cope with the existential dread of being a Lions fan?
Tip: Take mental snapshots of important details.
- Therapy. Seriously, it helps.
- Embrace the memes. Lions fans are the undisputed kings (or queens) of self-deprecating humor.
- Find solace in the unwavering support of your fellow fans. We're all in this misery...err, I mean, journey...together.
How to convince your friends to become Lions fans?
QuickTip: Revisit posts more than once.
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- Don't. It's a cruel and unusual punishment.
- Focus on the positive aspects. Like the gorgeous Honolulu Blue uniforms? The rich history? The...uh...uhm...moving on!
How to explain the concept of "clutch" to a Detroit Lions fan?
- It's a foreign language. Don't bother.
How to know if you're a true Lions fan?
- You can recite the score of every playoff loss since 1957.
- You cry tears of joy at a single winning season.
- You own a Barry Sanders jersey that you wear ironically...or maybe not so ironically.
How to get to Ford Field?
- Google Maps is your friend. But be prepared for emotional distress.
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