Stone Cold Steve Austin: King of the Ring, But Not Quite King of Keeping the Ring On His Finger
Dude Love's Guide to Hitting the Stunner on Matrimony (and Maybe Not Messing Up Like Stone Cold)
 |
| How Many Times Was Steve Austin Married |
The Rattlesnake's Rocky Road of Romance
Tip: Absorb, don’t just glance.
Stone Cold Steve Austin. The Texas Rattlesnake. A legend in the squared circle, a box office draw in Hollywood, and a man with a...colorful personal life. And by colorful, we mean he's been married more times than Hulk Hogan has ripped his shirt off. But hey, who's counting, right? Actually, we are. Buckle up 'cause here's the lowdown on Stone Cold's marriages, with enough twists and turns to make a wrestling match blush.
- Round One: High School Sweethearts and the Short Fuse of Love (1990-1992)
Our story begins with young Steve Austin, all starry-eyed and ready to say "I do" to his high school sweetheart, Kathryn Burrhus. Unfortunately, this match ended faster than a Stone Cold Stunner, clocking in at a cool two years. We're guessing things got a little too "Stone Cold" a little too soon.
Tip: Read carefully — skimming skips meaning.
- Round Two: Lady Blossum Blooms...Then Wilts (1992-1999)
Moving on up, Steve ties the knot with Jeanie Clarke, also known as Lady Blossom (don't ask us about the wrestling names). This rodeo lasted a bit longer, at seven years. But let's just say the "Blossoms of Love" eventually faded faster than Stone Cold's patience with a bad referee.
- Round Three: Debra Makes Stone Cold See Double (or Maybe Triple) (1999-2003)
Now we enter the wild world of fellow wrestler Debra Marshall. Sparks flew on-screen and apparently, off-screen too. This marriage had all the drama of a steel cage match, ending with some unfortunate accusations and a referee throwing in the towel (otherwise known as a divorce).
QuickTip: Pause when something clicks.
 |
- Round Four: Stone Cold Finally Gets It Right... (Maybe?) (2009-Present)
Kristin Feres enters the ring, and this time, it seems like it might actually be a fair fight. Stone Cold and Kristin have been married since 2009, and hopefully this time, the champ has learned a thing or two about staying power.
So How Many Times Did Stone Cold Walk Down the Aisle?
Tip: Don’t skip the small notes — they often matter.
You guessed it, the answer is a stunning 4! Seems like Stone Cold had a lot to learn about the ropes...of marriage.
How To FAQs:
How to Avoid Multiple Trips to the Divorce Court (Stone Cold Edition): Try effective communication and maybe some anger management classes.How to Throw a Stone Cold-Themed Wedding: Think denim, beer, and a whole lot of middle fingers.How to Get Stone Cold to Officiate Your Wedding: Probably involves a ton of money and a guarantee he won't give the bride a Stunner.How to Get into Wrestling: Much harder than getting married multiple times, that's for sure.How to Be as Awesome as Stone Cold: That's a tall order, but working on your charisma and giving good stunners is a good start.
 |
