The Great Seattle Troll Census: Separating Myth From Reality (Mostly)
Ah, Seattle. The land of grunge, rainy days, and...trolls? That's right, folks. Seattle has a bit of a troll obsession, and we're not talking about internet trolls (though those exist here too, don't worry). We're talking about giant, magnificent, moss-covered works of art that have become beloved residents.
But just how many of these whimsical beasties roam the Emerald City? Buckle up, because this census is about to get a little hairy...well, maybe not hairy, but definitely splintery.
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| How Many Trolls In Seattle |
The OG Troll: Fremont's Finest
First, there's the granddaddy of them all: the Fremont Troll. This concrete behemoth, lovingly cradling a VW Bug under its massive hand, has been a Seattle landmark since 1990. He even throws a birthday bash every Halloween (because, of course he does). This magnificent fellow is a confirmed bachelor, so he doesn't contribute to the overall troll population...unless you count causing mischief as procreation.
Tip: Don’t skip — flow matters.
The New Kids on the Block: The Troll Takeover
But Seattle doesn't stop at just one troll. In 2023, Danish artist Thomas Dambo unleashed a series of five gigantic troll sculptures around the Seattle area, each crafted from recycled materials. We're talking trolls the size of houses, folks! These newcomers are scattered like breadcrumbs through the city, waiting to be discovered by intrepid troll hunters.
Here's the thing, though: the exact locations of these new trolls are a bit of a mystery. Dambo wants you to have an adventure! So, while we know there are five, finding them all is like a real-life troll treasure hunt.
QuickTip: Ask yourself what the author is trying to say.
So, if you add it all up, we have a minimum of 6 trolls in the Seattle area. But with the elusive new guys out there, the true number could be even higher! Maybe there's a whole troll family living in the Gas Works Park, just waiting to befriend some friendly humans. Stranger things have happened in Seattle (looking at you, throwing fish at Pike Place Market).
Fun Fact: Trolls are Notoriously Bad at Filling Out Census Forms
Let's be honest, trolls are probably terrible at filling out paperwork. They're more interested in hoarding shiny objects and grumbling about bridges than counting their brethren. So, this whole census thing is a bit of an estimate. But hey, that just adds to the mystique, right?
QuickTip: Keep a notepad handy.
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Troll FAQ: Your Guide to the Seattle Trollpocalypse (It's Not Really an Apocalypse)
Okay, so you're itching to get in on the Seattle troll action. Here are some quick answers to your burning troll-related questions:
How to find the Fremont Troll? Easy! He lives under the Aurora Bridge at Troll A Troll Way (seriously, that's the address).
Tip: Focus on clarity, not speed.
How to find the new trolls? This is where things get tricky. Your best bet is to hit the internet and troll around for some unofficial troll maps (see what we did there?). Or, you can embrace your inner explorer and start combing the woods!
How to befriend a troll? This one requires further research. Maybe bring them some shiny rocks or a particularly pungent cheese wheel? We don't recommend offering them a VW Bug (the Fremont Troll has already claimed that market).
How to avoid being trolled by a troll? Generally, Seattle trolls are pretty friendly. Just don't steal their shiny things and you should be okay.
How many trolls are too many trolls? Never enough, my friend. Never enough.
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