Bridge Over Troubled Waters (or at Least, a Troubled Bridge)
So, let's talk about that time a big ol' boat decided it was tired of being in the water and wanted to go for a little land adventure. We're talking about the infamous Baltimore bridge collapse, of course. It was like a real-life game of Jenga, but with way higher stakes and a lot less fun.
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| How Much Of The Baltimore Bridge Fell |
How Much Bridge is Too Much Bridge?
Now, the question on everyone's lips (or at least, the ones who aren't too busy avoiding bridges) is: how much of the dang thing actually fell off? Well, let's just say it was enough to make a structural engineer cry. We're talking multiple spans, folks. Not just a little crack or a missing piece of railing. This was a full-on "whoa, where did the bridge go?" moment.
Tip: Don’t skim — absorb.
Imagine waking up one morning and looking out your window to find a giant chunk of your city's infrastructure missing. That’s basically what happened to Baltimore. It was like a scene from a disaster movie, but without the dramatic music and the overly heroic protagonist.
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The Aftermath: A Bridge-Shaped Hole in Everyone's Lives
The aftermath was a mess, to say the least. Traffic was a nightmare. People were late for work (or maybe they just pretended to be). And let's not forget about the poor souls who were actually on the bridge when it decided to take a vacation. Talk about a bad day.
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But hey, at least it gave us some great headlines. "Bridge Bites Boat," "Captain Nemo Strikes Again," and "Fish Are Now Driving Cars" were all totally plausible options.
Tip: Let the key ideas stand out.
Moving On: Bridge-Building 2.0
Of course, rebuilding the bridge is a top priority. They're going to need some serious engineering know-how, and maybe a few more years of therapy for anyone involved in the original construction. But hey, every cloud has a silver lining, right? Maybe the new bridge will be even cooler. Like, maybe it'll have a built-in rollercoaster or something.
Who knows? The future is bright (and hopefully bridge-free).
How To... Bridge Your Curiosity
- How to avoid becoming a human cannonball: Stay off bridges when ships are nearby. It’s not rocket science.
- How to become a bridge engineer: Get really good at math and physics, then pray for a job opening.
- How to cope with the fear of bridges: Small steps. Start with crossing a tiny wooden bridge over a creek. Work your way up.
- How to build a bridge out of cheese: Don't. Just don't.
- How to find a good bridge joke: Ask a comedian who’s been to Baltimore.
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