The Great Oklahoma Blackout of... Wait, What? Not Quite.
Hold onto your Stetsons, folks, because according to the latest reports, the Sooner State is on the brink of an energy apocalypse... kind of. Now, before you start prepping your bomb shelters and hoarding Slim Jims, let's take a closer look at this whole "power outage" situation.
How Much Of Oklahoma Is Out Of Power |
A Storm in a Teacup (or a Flickering Lightbulb)
The truth is, while there might be a few disgruntled citizens wrestling with a grumpy toaster or a malfunctioning disco ball (because, Oklahoma!), the vast majority of the state has sparkling electricity flowing freely. We're talking less "Mad Max" and more "mild inconvenience."
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Sure, there might be a pocket here or there experiencing some temporary technical difficulties (translation: a squirrel chewed through a power line), but we're talking about a tiny fraction of the population. Like, so small, it wouldn't even register on a Kim Kardashian selfie.
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Who is Out There in the Dark?
Alright, alright, so where's the outage happening? Well, buckle up, because I'm about to unleash some groundbreaking investigative journalism:
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- Literally a handful of people: Based on reports, we're talking about a number so low it could be expressed in single digits. Like, the number of times you've ironed your clothes this week.
- Probably just that guy who hoards Christmas lights: You know the one. His house looks like a technicolor supernova every December, and his electricity bill likely resembles a small mortgage payment.
So, Can I Relax and Crank Up the AC?
Absolutely! Fire up the grill, crank the Garth Brooks, and get ready to enjoy some good ol' fashioned Oklahoma summer fun. Unless, of course, you're one of those unfortunate souls stuck in outage purgatory. In that case, solidarity, my friend. Solidarity.
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But hey, chin up! Most outages are resolved quicker than you can say "baloney sandwich."
How To FAQs: Keeping the Lights On (or Dealing with the Dark)
- How to check for outages in my area? Most utility companies have websites and apps that provide real-time outage updates. Just Google your provider and "outage map."
- How to prepare for a power outage? Stock up on essentials like flashlights, batteries, and maybe a good deck of cards (because let's be honest, internet will probably be down too).
- How to report a power outage? Contact your local utility company. Their number should be readily available on their website or a previous bill.
- How to stay cool during a power outage? Take a cool shower, wear loose clothing, and avoid strenuous activity. Maybe now's a good time to finally tackle that unread book collection.
- How to avoid becoming a meme during a power outage? Resist the urge to tweet about it every 5 minutes. We get it, you're living on the edge.