The Great Kansas City Snowpocalypse: A Totally Serious Investigation (with Tongue Firmly in Cheek)
Ah, Kansas City. The City of Fountains... and according to some overzealous weather reports in, oh, April, a potential winter wonderland. But fear not, fellow Chiefs fans and barbecue enthusiasts, because we're here to sift through the snowstorm of speculation and bring you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the slightly-less-dramatic truth, about those fluffy white flakes.
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| How Much Snow Are We Supposed To Get In Kansas City |
Is Kansas City Destined for a Snowmageddon?
Let's be honest, the odds of a city known for its jazz and burnt ends getting buried in a historic snowfall are about as likely as the Royals making the playoffs two years in a row (sorry, baseball fans, we had to go there). Current forecasts predict nary a snowflake over the next seven days. That's right, folks, more sunshine than snowball fights.
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However, for those who crave a little wintery excitement (or maybe just an excuse to break out the leg warmers), fear not! Kansas City does get its fair share of snow. The average snowfall is a respectable 15 inches, which is enough to build a decent-sized snowman (althoughFrosty might need a windbreaker most days).
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But What About That Crazy Snow Report I Saw Online?
Ah, the internet. A treasure trove of information, and also a breeding ground for click-bait headlines. Remember that report about a "polar vortex plunging Kansas City into an ice age"? Yeah, that was probably written by someone who got a little too excited about a dusting of frost on their pumpkin spice latte.
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Here's the truth: dramatic weather forecasts are like that friend who always swears they saw a UFO. Listen with a raised eyebrow, but take it with a grain of salt (or, in this case, a spoonful of barbecue sauce).
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The Bottom Line: When Will We Actually See Snow?
Now, we can't predict the future (unless you count that time we totally called the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl, twice!), but statistically speaking, snowfall in Kansas City typically starts rolling in around December. So relax, enjoy those summer barbecues, and by all means, stock up on the sunscreen. Winter will eventually come, but for now, let's embrace the sunshine!
How To Prepare for Snow in Kansas City (Just in Case)
- How to Channel Your Inner Snow Master: Practice your best snow angel form. Pro tip: Add a Chiefs logo for bonus points.
- How to Build a Snow Fort Worthy of Royalty: Gather your loyal subjects (friends and family) and stockpile snow. Remember, a good snow fort needs a secret passage (perfect for hiding from rogue snowball attacks).
- How to Make the Perfect Cup of Hot Cocoa for After-Snowball Battles: Milk, chocolate, marshmallows - the classics never go out of style. Bonus points for a dash of Crown Royal (for adults only, of course!).
- How to Avoid Becoming a Popsicle: Invest in a good hat, gloves, and a scarf. Layers are your friend!
- How to Shovel Snow Like a Pro: Technique is key! Bend at the knees, lift with your legs, and maybe bribe a neighborhood kid to help (with hot cocoa, of course).
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