The Great Portland Snowpocalypse of... July 10th? (Spoiler Alert: It Wasn't That Great)
Did you wake up this morning expecting to build a snowman in your flip-flops? Did you trade your morning latte for a mug of hot cocoa (because, frankly, who drinks hot chocolate in July?) If you answered yes to either of these questions, then congratulations, you've been living in an alternate weather reality!
Because let's face it, folks, Portland did not, in fact, experience a surprise snowstorm last night. Unless you count that flurry of confusion that drifted through social media after someone accidentally set their snow cone machine to "extra."
How Much Snow Did Portland Get Last Night |
But Wait, There's More (Weather-Related Puns)!
Now, before you start digging out your winter wardrobe in protest, hear us out. While Portland may not have gotten a dusting of the white stuff, there are some pretty epic snowfalls happening elsewhere. We're talking mountains getting a July makeover, ski resorts throwing impromptu summer sales, and penguins wondering if they packed the wrong suitcase.
Tip: Reading on mobile? Zoom in for better comfort.
So, where's all this crazy July snow coming down? That, my friends, is a question best left to the weather nerds (who are probably having a field day right now).
The Official "How Much Snow Did Portland Get?" Report
Drumroll please... Portland received a whopping zero point zero inches of snow last night. That's right, folks, not a single snowflake graced the city with its icy presence.
QuickTip: Stop scrolling fast, start reading slow.
However, if you're craving a winter wonderland experience, we recommend a trip to the freezer aisle or maybe a particularly chilly episode of Game of Thrones.
FAQ: How to Deal with Your Post-Snowpocalypse Disappointment
1. How to channel your inner Elsa: Let it go, let it go! There will be snow (eventually).
Reminder: Save this article to read offline later.
2. How to build a snowman (without snow): Get creative! Use marshmallows, shaving cream, or maybe even a really impressive pile of dirty laundry.
3. How to convince your friends you actually experienced a snowstorm: Invest in a good photoshop app and some convincing sound effects.
QuickTip: Don’t ignore the small print.
4. How to prepare for the next "unexpected" July snowstorm: Stock up on sunscreen and pool floats. Priorities, people!
5. How to find out the real weather forecast: Consult a reputable weather source (not your neighbor's overactive imagination).