The Great Indianapolis Snowpocalypse of... Nevermind, It's July!
Did you wake up this morning with a craving for hot cocoa and dreams of building a snowman? Did you enthusiastically dig out your winter coat, only to be met with the sweltering heat of an Indianapolis summer? Well, fret no more, fellow citizens, because as of today, July 3rd, 2024, there is absolutely, positively zero chance of snow in our fair city.
That's right, folks, you can put those shovels back in the shed (or wherever you keep your summer denial tools) because the only thing falling from the sky today is likely to be some much-needed rain.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "But what about those doomsday preppers on the internet? They said there'd be a blizzard!" Don't worry, those folks are about as reliable as a chocolate teapot in Death Valley. Unless their forecast involves pool floats and sunscreen, take it with a grain of salt (or a giant margarita, depending on how you deal with disappointment).
QuickTip: Take a pause every few paragraphs.
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| How Much Snow In Indianapolis Today |
Signs You're Mistakenly Preparing for a Snowpocalypse in July
- You're stocking up on bread and milk, but only the oat milk kind because, you know, gotta stay trendy even during a blizzard.
- You built a snowman out of spare pool noodles. It's...modern art?
- You tried to convince your neighbors to join a snowball fight, but they just stared at you like you were speaking a different language (spoiler alert: you probably were, the language of crazy talk).
But Hey, If You Really Want Snow...
Look, we all have our fantasies. Maybe you miss building snow forts as a kid, or perhaps you just yearn for a winter wonderland aesthetic. Fear not, my friend, for there are options!
- Head north! Minnesota is always a good bet for some winter fun. Just pack accordingly (and maybe some bug spray, because let's be real, Minnesota isn't all sunshine and snow angels).
- Embrace the fake stuff! Stock up on that fancy "instant snow" you can find online. Just remember, breathing in tiny white particles might not be the healthiest option.
- Channel your inner Elsa and build a snow fort...out of pillows! Bonus points for convincing your pets to wear tiny scarves.
Burning Snow-Related Questions? We Got You Covered (Sort Of)
How to ACTUALLY check the Indianapolis weather forecast?
Tip: Use the structure of the text to guide you.
There are a variety of weather apps and websites at your disposal. Just be sure you're looking at the forecast for today, not next December!
How to convince my neighbor to take down their "Winter is Coming" decorations?
Tip: Read aloud to improve understanding.
A gentle suggestion and a promise to help them find some festive summer lights might do the trick. Just avoid mentioning the whole "snow in July" thing, they might think you've finally snapped.
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How to build a halfway decent pillow fort?
Tip: Read in a quiet space for focus.
Pillows of all shapes and sizes are your friend! Sheets, blankets, and couch cushions can also be incorporated for maximum fort-itude.
How to deal with the crushing disappointment of no July snowstorm?
Retail therapy and a giant ice cream sundae usually do the trick.
How to avoid future snowpocalypse-related meltdowns?
Maybe stick to checking the weather forecast closer to the actual winter months. Less stress, more pool time.
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