The Great Boston Snowmaggeddon of... July? Unpacking Boston's Fictional Snowfall
Ah, Boston. City of Cheers, Fenway thrills, and let's not forget, the epic snowstorms that bring the city to a delightful (or frustrating, depending on your perspective) standstill. But what if we told you there was a blizzard brewing on the horizon, and it involved... sunshine and popsicles?
That's right, folks. It appears Mother Nature is having a bit of a giggle fit, because according to the latest forecasts, Boston is expecting a whopping 0 inches of snow... for the next eight days. Shocking, we know.
Now, before you dust off your snow boots and stockpile bread in a panic (we've all been there), let's delve into the fascinating world of non-existent snowfall.
QuickTip: Short pauses improve understanding.
 |
| How Much Snow Is Boston Supposed To Get |
Where'd all the white stuff go?
Fear not, winter warriors! The snow hasn't exactly packed its bags and moved to Florida (although, with the recent heatwaves, that wouldn't be the worst idea). It's simply that, well, it's July. In case you missed the memo, summer is currently throwing the biggest pool party on the planet, and snow isn't exactly on the VIP guest list.
So, what's a Bostonian to do without a good snowstorm?
Here are a few ideas to fill the void (besides strategically placing bags of ice around your house to simulate the feeling of a snowy wonderland):
Tip: Compare what you read here with other sources.
- Embrace the sunshine! Dust off those beach chairs, fire up the grill, and soak up some Vitamin D.
- Channel your inner child. Have a water balloon fight, build a sandcastle masterpiece, or pretend your sprinkler is a raging snowstorm. We won't judge.
- Stock up on the good stuff. Ice cream, anyone?
Because hey, sometimes, the best snow day is the one that involves zero snow and maximum coolness.
 |
Frequently Asked Snow-less Questions (Because Apparently Those Exist Now)
How to channel your inner Elsa without the snow? Belt out "Let it Go" at the top of your lungs. It's scientifically proven to be effective (kind of).
Tip: Read once for gist, twice for details.
How to convince your friends you actually had a blizzard? Invest in a snow cone machine. Problem solved.
How to prepare for a summer heatwave that feels strangely apocalyptic? Stock up on sunscreen, water, and a good sense of humor. You'll need it.
Tip: Focus more on ideas, less on words.
How to explain to your kids that snow isn't a mythical creature only spoken of in legends? Field trip to a ski resort in December. Problem solved (and memories made!).
How to cope with the existential dread of a snow-free July in Boston? Focus on the bright side: clear roads, open beaches, and the undeniable joy of not having to dig your car out of a snowdrift. You're welcome.
 |
