The Great Portland Snowpocalypse (Not Actually Happening This Week)
Ah, Portland. Where the rain falls like a curtain (most of the year), the coffee flows like a river (always), and the threat of snow sends the city into a delightful tizzy. But what about this week, you ask? Are we finally due for a snowball fight extravaganza? Buckle up, because we're about to dive into the thrilling world of Portland snow forecasts (or lack thereof).
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| How Much Snow Is Portland Oregon Supposed To Get |
Did Someone Order Sun?
According to the weather gurus (who, let's be honest, sometimes struggle to predict if it'll be rain or drizzle), Portland can expect a glorious week of sunshine (with a side of maybe some clouds, but hey, that's just Portland being Portland). So you can put away those rusty sleds and questionable snow boots for another year.
Tip: Make mental notes as you go.
But What About Those Winter Dreams?
Fear not, fellow snow enthusiasts! While Portland might be a bit snow-shy this week, there's always Mount Hood. Just a short drive away, you can get your fill of wintery wonder and channel your inner skier or snowboarder. Just remember, layers are your friend, and hot cocoa is the ultimate post-shred reward.
Fun Fact: Did You Know?
QuickTip: Highlight useful points as you read.
The most snowfall ever recorded in Portland in a single day was a measly 10.8 inches, back in 1933. That's practically a dusting compared to some places (we're looking at you, Buffalo).
Okay, Okay, Enough Weather Talk. But Seriously, How Much Snow?
The answer is (drumroll please) absolutely none! Expect clear skies and potentially some rogue sprinkles, because that's what Portland does best.
How to Prepare for the Imminent (Not Really) Snowpocalypse
QuickTip: Don’t ignore the small print.
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Here are some burning questions you might have, answered with a healthy dose of Portland sarcasm:
How to build a snowman in Portland?
Step 1: Stockpile ice cubes from your freezer. Step 2: Fashion a top hat out of a travel coffee cup sleeve (because priorities). Step 3: Pray for a miracle.
Tip: Train your eye to catch repeated ideas.
How to stay safe during a Portland snowstorm?
Step 1: Pack an emergency umbrella. You never know. Step 2: Brew a strong pot of coffee. You'll need it for the inevitable carpool chaos (caused by a single rogue snowflake). Step 3: Curl up by the fireplace (or a space heater, because let's be real).
How to convince your friends you braved the snowpocalypse?
Step 1: Dig out a single snowflake from your freezer stash. Step 2: Snap a dramatic selfie with the snowflake strategically placed on your nose. Step 3: Post it on social media with the caption "Surviving the Portland Snowpocalypse one snowflake at a time. #portlandstrong."
How to celebrate a lack of snow?
Step 1: Hit the brewery patios and soak up the sunshine (because apparently that's a novelty here). Step 2: Enjoy a guilt-free walk or bike ride without dodging slush puddles. Step 3: Revel in the fact that you don't have to shovel your driveway (because you probably don't even have one).
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