The Great Seattle Snowmageddon of... Nevermind, It's July
Ah, Seattle snow. A mythical creature, whispered about in hushed tones by old-timers. A legend some scoff at, like Bigfoot wandering the rainforests (although, with all that rain, maybe Bigfoot is just really good at camouflage). But fear not, intrepid weather warriors, for today we delve into the burning question: how much snow will grace the Emerald City with its frosty presence?
The Current Forecast: Sunshine and Side-Eye
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Let's cut to the chase: unless you have a time machine set for December, Seattle is currently forecast to receive ZERO INCHES of snow in the next, well, forever (or at least the next 8 days, which is as far as most weather psychics dare to predict).
Note: Skipping ahead? Don’t miss the middle sections.
But hey, there's always a chance! Maybe a rogue snowball fight erupts amongst the clouds, and a stray snowball takes a scenic detour to Seattle. Maybe aliens with a penchant for slush machines decide Earth needs a good snowvening. The point is, never say never!
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The History of Seattle Snow: A Tale of Not-Quite-Enough
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While Seattle may not be the winter wonderland of your dreams, it does get a dusting of snow every now and then. The city's average snowfall is a measly 6 inches a year, which is basically the amount a Vermont squirrel would scoff at. The most snow Seattle has ever seen in a single season? A whopping 19.8 inches in the winter of 1950. That's practically an avalanche... in a teacup.
So, You Want to Build a Snowman in July?
Listen, we admire your spirit. But here's the thing: Seattle just isn't built for snow. The infrastructure would melt faster than your snowman under a heat lamp (speaking of which, maybe that's the answer? A giant, city-wide heat lamp?).
How to Prepare for the Improbable Seattle Snowpocalypse (Just in Case)
- Embrace the Inner Canadian: Stock up on maple syrup and learn how to say "sorry" in multiple languages. You'll need it for all the apologizing you'll do for accidentally blocking the sidewalk with your rogue snowball fort.
- Invest in a Sturdy Umbrella: Because let's be real, even in a snowpocalypse, Seattle will probably still get some rain.
- Befriend a Local Seagull: They're basically the closest things Seattle has to pigeons, and they're probably the only ones who know how to navigate a snowy city.
- Practice Your Best "Oh My God, It's Snowing!" Face: This is an essential skill for any Seattlite who witnesses the once-in-a-lifetime event.
- Relax and Enjoy the Show: Because let's face it, the day it snows in Seattle will be a glorious, hilarious mess. And hey, at least you'll have a story to tell your grandkids (assuming they haven't all moved to somewhere sunnier by then).
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