The Great Boston Snowmageddon of... Nevermind, It's July!
Ah, Boston. City of Champions, land of chowder, and the place where winter throws everything it's got at you, from surprise blizzards to sideways rain that feels suspiciously like tiny ice daggers. But what about right now, in the heart of summer? Are you worried about building a snowman out of your sweat or prepping for an epic snowball fight?
Fear not, fellow Bostonians!
According to the latest weather reports (which, let's face it, are about as reliable as a politician's promises), there is a ZERO percent chance of snowfall in the foreseeable future. That's right, folks, you can dust off your sandals and fire up the grill.
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But wait! There's more!
Because here at Totally Reliable Weather Predictions (a subsidiary of "Sure, Maybe Later" Inc.), we understand the ever-present New England anxiety about the next snowfall. So, for your peace of mind, here's a highly scientific, totally not-made-up forecast for the next few days:
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- Friday, July 12th: Sunshine and sweat, with a slight chance of daydreams about cozy fireplaces.
- Saturday, July 13th: Beach weather! (Though if you see any rogue snowmen hiding in the ice cream stands, let us know).
- Sunday, July 14th and Beyond: Looks like things are heating up, literally. Stock up on the sunscreen!
Now, for those in the back who are still panicking...
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| How Much Snowfall Is Expected In Boston |
Frequently Asked Snow-Free Questions:
How to prepare for the lack of snowfall?
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- Embrace the sunshine! Get that vitamin D pumping.
- Dust off your grill and perfect your barbecue skills.
- Practice saying "summer" without flinching.
How to channel your leftover winter energy?
- Take up a refreshing summer sport like kayaking or paddleboarding.
- Build a sandcastle so epic, it would make a snowman weep with envy.
- Perfect your poolside lounging technique.
How to convince your friends you're not disappointed about the lack of snow?
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- Remind them about shoveling duties and the joy of slush.
- Flash them a winning smile and say, "Beach day, anyone?"
- Subtly suggest a trip to a place with actual winter (but maybe not until next year).
How to deal with the existential dread of a snow-free July?
- Deep breaths. It's okay. Winter will be back eventually. (But hopefully not too soon.)
- Focus on the joys of summer: ice cream, fireworks, and pretending you're not secretly checking the long-term forecast.
- Channel your inner Elsa and belt out, "Let it go! Let the snow go!" (Just maybe not at the beach.)
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