So You Wanna Be a Detroit
 |
| How To Be A Detroit Police Officer |
COP
? Hold My Donut!Ever watched "RoboCop" and thought, "Hey, I could do that, but with less melting metal and more high-fives"? Or maybe you're just tired of that pesky jaywalking squirrel on your block. Whatever your reason, becoming a Detroit police officer is a noble (and occasionally hilarious) pursuit. But before you suit up and head out like some kind of justice served with a side of Vernors, let's get you prepped for the realities of keeping the streets safe (and the doughnut shops stocked).
First Things First: You Ain't RoboCop (Thank Goodness)
QuickTip: Pay attention to first and last sentences.
Being a Detroit cop is about more than just fancy tech (though a taser that doubles as a coffee maker would be pretty sweet). It's about community, folks! You'll be the face of the law, sure, but also a shoulder to cry on (after a particularly rough shift involving a rogue shopping cart, perhaps). You gotta be prepared to:
Tip: Absorb, don’t just glance.
- De-escalate situations like a pro: Because sometimes, a calm conversation and a listening ear are more effective than RoboCop's entire arsenal.
- Channel your inner detective: You might not have a robot dog, but you'll need some serious sleuthing skills to track down those missing socks that mysteriously vanish in the dryer.
- Be a master negotiator: Negotiating with a disgruntled goose who's taken up residence in the fountain? All in a day's work, buddy.
Becoming a Detroit Defender: It's Not Just About the Doughnuts (Although...)
QuickTip: Treat each section as a mini-guide.
There is a process, my friend. You'll need to:
Tip: Read slowly to catch the finer details.
 |
- Get in tip-top shape: You gotta be able to run after that rogue squirrel (or at least chase down a rogue sprinkle that escapes your doughnut). The Detroit Police Department requires you to pass a physical fitness test.
- Be squeaky clean: Background checks are a thing, so make sure your past is less "Miami Vice" and more "baking cookies with grandma."
- Hit the books: You'll need to pass the MCOLES exam, which is basically Law Enforcement Jeopardy! but hopefully with less wagering on deadly weapons.
But Hey, Being a Detroit Cop is Pretty Rad
- You make a difference: Every day is a chance to help people and make your city a safer place. High five for that!
- The camaraderie: You'll build strong bonds with your fellow officers, the kind that come from sharing a bag of cold fries at 3 am.
- The stories: You'll have enough wild tales to fill a book (or at least a killer blog).
FAQ: How to Become a Detroit Police Officer
- How do I get started? Check out the Detroit Police Department's official website for all the info you need:
https://detroitmi.gov/departments/police-department/detroit-police-department-careers - How fit do I need to be? You gotta be able to run, jump, and lift things. Think "helpful neighbor" meets "Olympic hopeful" (minus the whole spandex situation).
- What's the MCOLES exam like? It covers everything from criminal law to report writing. Basically, how to be a law-abiding butt-kicking bookworm.
- Do I get free doughnuts? We can't make any promises, but hey, nobody said fighting crime couldn't be delicious.
- Is there a robot dog application process? Not yet, but if you invent one, let us know. We're all about innovation (as long as it doesn't involve rogue shopping carts).
So, are you ready to join the ranks of Detroit's finest? Remember, it's not just about the doughnuts (although, let's be honest, they're a pretty sweet perk). It's about making a difference, building a community, and maybe even getting a high five from a grateful squirrel (hey, it could happen!).
 |
