Alaska Bound: A Californian's Guide to Great Escapes
So, you're tired of the California dream, huh? The endless sunshine, the laid-back vibe, and the overpriced avocado toast? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we’re about to embark on a journey to the land of the midnight sun, where the mosquitoes are bigger than your dreams (okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration).
Flying the Friendly Skies (or Not)
Let’s face it, flying is the most practical way to get to Alaska. Unless you're a particularly enthusiastic hiker with a death wish, I wouldn’t recommend walking or swimming. But hey, if you’re up for the challenge, more power to you! Just remember to pack enough bug spray.
When it comes to airlines, you’ve got a few options:
- Alaska Airlines: The obvious choice, right? They know their way around the frozen tundra.
- Delta, United, and American: These big boys offer a variety of flights, but be prepared for potential layovers.
- Chartered Planes: For the ultimate in luxury (and expense), you can always charter a private plane. Just make sure you have a solid alibi if your wife finds out.
Driving the Alcan Highway: A Road Less Traveled
If you’re feeling adventurous and have a few months to spare, you could always drive the Alcan Highway. It's a classic American road trip, but with a whole lot more bears. Be sure to pack plenty of snacks, a good pair of binoculars, and a healthy respect for wildlife.
Important note: Don’t forget to check road conditions, especially during winter. The Alcan Highway isn’t exactly known for its snowplows.
The Ferry Option: For Those Who Love the Water
For a more leisurely pace, consider taking the ferry. It's a great way to see the scenery and maybe even catch some fish. Just be prepared for a long ride. You'll have plenty of time to read, knit, or contemplate your life choices.
Packing Tips for the Great Alaskan Adventure
- Warm clothes: It's colder than a witch's teat up there.
- Bug spray: Seriously, you’ll need it.
- Bear spray: Just in case.
- A sense of humor: You're going to need it to deal with the long, dark winters.
How to...
- How to survive a bear encounter: Play dead. Or run really fast. Your choice.
- How to pack light for a long trip: You can’t. Just accept it.
- How to find the Northern Lights: Look up.
- How to avoid frostbite: Wear layers. Lots of layers.
- How to make friends with a moose: Don't. Just don't.
So, there you have it. Alaska awaits! Just remember, it's a big, wild place, so be prepared for anything. And if you see a yeti, send a postcard.
