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You Can Pahk the Caw But Can You Tawk the Tawlk? How to Spot a Bostonian in the Wild
Ah, Boston. A city steeped in history, chowder, and accents thicker than a frappe on a Frickin' hot day. But how do you identify a true Bostonian amongst the throngs of tourists and transplants? Fear not, my friend, for this handy guide will have you saying "wicked smaht" in no time!
Listen Up, Buttercup: The Bostonian Lexicon
- The R-Less Revolution: Bostonians have a well-earned reputation for dropping their r's like hot potatoes. "Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd" is practically a symphony to the local ear. Warning: Don't attempt this at home, folks. It takes years of practice and a healthy dose of civic pride to pull it off without sounding like Kermit the Frog with a head cold.
- "Wicked" is the Word: Forget "very" or "extremely." In Boston, "wicked" is the go-to intensifier. "I had a wicked good time at the Red Sox game!" Bonus points: If you can use "wicked pissah" in a sentence without causing offence, congratulations! You're practically a local.
QuickTip: Absorb ideas one at a time.
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| How To Tell If Someone Is From Boston |
Beyond the Accent: Bostonian Tendencies
- The Dunkin' Donuts Devotion: Coffee isn't just a beverage in Boston, it's a religion. And the holy grail is Dunkin' Donuts. Spot someone with a Dunkin' cup clutched in their hand? Odds are good they hail from Beantown.
- The Sports Fanatic: Boston bleeds green (Celtics) and red (Red Sox). Die-hard fandom is a birthright, and fierce loyalty to these teams is a surefire sign of a Bostonian.
- The New York Nemesis: A healthy rivalry exists between Boston and New York City. If someone shudders at the mere mention of the Big Apple, they might just be a Bostonian in disguise.
Tip: The details are worth a second look.
Fashionably Bostonian
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- The Red Sox Nation: Baseball caps emblazoned with the Red Sox logo are practically a uniform for some Bostonians.
- The Winter Warriors: Don't be fooled by a little snowfall. True Bostonians will brave the elements in shorts and sandals, proving their toughness (and questionable fashion sense).
QuickTip: Treat each section as a mini-guide.
How to Avoid a Bostonian Brawl
- Learn the Lingo: A basic understanding of Bostonian slang goes a long way.
- Don't Diss the Chowdah: Chowder is a sacred dish, and Bostonians take their seafood seriously. Unless you want an earful, avoid comparing their chowder to anything from New England's rival, Maine.
- Never Underestimate the Power of Dunkin': Need directions? A shoulder to cry on? A existential debate about the merits of glazed versus chocolate donuts? Dunkin' Donuts is your one-stop shop (and a great place to people-watch for Bostonians).
Tip: Focus on one point at a time.
FAQ: How to Bostonian Like a Boss
- How to order a coffee: "Regular iced coffee, black" will get you what you need. Don't ask for a "small" or a "grande." We don't speak Starbucks here.
- How to navigate the T: The MBTA (affectionately known as "the T") is Boston's public transportation system. Patience is key, and learning a few choice curse words might come in handy during rush hour.
- How to deal with the weather: Boston weather is as unpredictable as a politician's promise. Layers are your friend, and owning a good pair of snow boots is practically mandatory.
- How to fit in at a bar: Boston pubs are a melting pot of characters. Strike up a conversation about the game, the weather, or the ever-present question: Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks?
- How to say goodbye: A simple "See ya later" or "Catch ya on the flip side" will do the trick. Bonus points for a friendly "Take care, kid" (because in Boston, everyone's a "kid" until they're pushing 80).
So there you have it, folks! With a little practice and this guide in hand, you'll be spotting Bostonians like a pro in no time. Just remember, these are a friendly bunch (deep down), so relax, grab a Dunkin' Donuts, and enjoy the ride!
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