The Detroit Lions: Masters of the Non-Winning Season (But We Love Them Anyway)
Ah, the Detroit Lions. A team steeped in tradition, with a fan base as loyal as they are masochistic (myself included). But one thing you can't deny is that the Lions leave their mark on the NFL landscape. Just maybe not the mark they'd prefer.
 |
| What Are The Detroit Lions Record |
So, what exactly is the Detroit Lions' record?
Brace yourselves, because it's a doozy. The Lions, as of the end of the 2023 season, boast a record of 591 wins, 707 losses, and 34 ties in the regular season. Let's translate that for you: that's a whole lotta winning, a whole lotta losing, and a sprinkle of "hey, maybe next year?" sprinkled on top.
Now, the playoffs are a whole other story. The Lions have managed to snag a measly 9 wins in the postseason, but unfortunately, those are overshadowed by their 14 soul-crushing losses. Fun fact: that means the Lions hold the delightful record for the worst playoff winning percentage in NFL history. Ouch.
Tip: Scroll slowly when the content gets detailed.
But wait, there's more! (Because with the Lions, there always is)
- The Lions were the first team to go 0-16 in a full 16-game season, back in the dark days of 2008. We don't talk about that year.
- They've also lost an NFL-record nine consecutive playoff games. See previous point about not talking about things.
Why do we even care then?
Because, dear reader, misery loves company. And the Lions, well, they provide that company in spades. But in all seriousness, the Lions are a team with a rich history, a passionate fan base, and a never-say-die attitude. Plus, they keep things interesting. You just never know what you're going to get from them on any given Sunday.
Here's to hoping that someday, maybe, just maybe, the tides will turn and the Lions will finally roar in the playoffs. But until then, we'll just keep on cheering them on, through thick and thin (mostly thin).
Tip: Use the structure of the text to guide you.
Lions Lore: Frequently Asked Questions
How to become a Detroit Lions fan? Easy! Just find yourself inexplicably drawn to disappointment.
 |
How to deal with the inevitable heartbreak? Therapy works wonders. Or copious amounts of cheese curds.
Tip: Avoid distractions — stay in the post.
How to explain the Lions' record to someone who doesn't follow football? It's a metaphor for life, really. Ups, downs, and the occasional tie game.
How to stay positive about the Lions? Focus on the young talent, the passionate fans, and the fact that, hey, at least it can't get much worse, right? (Famous last words?)
QuickTip: Don’t rush through examples.
How to celebrate a Lions win? Like you just won the lottery. Because, let's be honest, it's basically the same odds.
 |
