Eagles Draft Picks 2024: How They Fared (Without Turning into a Spreadsheet)
Hey Eagles fans, buckle up! The draft's done, the dust has settled (except for maybe Jason Kelce's retirement dust – that man leaves a cloud wherever he goes), and it's time to dissect Howie Roseman's latest masterpiece – or maybe his finger painting, depending on your outlook.
Tip: Summarize each section in your own words.
QuickTip: Return to sections that felt unclear.
Tip: Reread the opening if you feel lost.
Tip: Jot down one takeaway from this post.
 |
| What Are The Philadelphia Eagles Draft Picks This Year |
The Lowdown: Did the Eagles SOAR or Take a Nosedive?
Let's be honest, going into the draft, the Eagles were like a fancy cheesesteak: stacked with potential, but needing the right ingredients to truly shine. Here's what went down:
- Round 1: Surprise, Surprise! They traded up for... wait for it... nobody! Apparently, the allure of a mystery box wasn't strong enough this year.
- Round 2: Double Dip, then... Poof! The Eagles grabbed a defensive back, Cooper DeJean, with their first pick. Then, in a move that left some fans scratching their heads (and maybe checking their fantasy rosters), they traded away their second Saints' pick. Did they have a sudden hankering for beignets? We may never know.
- Rounds 3-5: Bargain Bin Bonanza! Here's where things got interesting. The Eagles snagged some intriguing prospects, like edge rusher Jalyx Hunt (dude has a name straight out of a fantasy novel) and linebacker Jeremiah Trotter Jr. (son of a legendary Eagle, so the pressure is definitely on!).
- Rounds 6 & 7: Taking a Flier (or Two) Wide receivers Ainias Smith and Johnny Wilson rounded out the draft class. Will they become the next DeVonta Smith? Only time – and maybe some serious wing-eating contests – will tell.
The Verdict? It's too early to say for sure. But hey, at least they didn't draft a kicker in the first round, right?
 |
Notable Mentions (or Not-So-Notable Misses?)
- The Great Trade Caper: Howie Roseman loves a good trade about as much as Philly fans love a good cheesesteak. This year, he was busy wheeling and dealing, accumulating picks like a squirrel stockpiling nuts for winter. Did it all pay off? We'll see.
- The Missing Pieces: The offensive line, a perennial concern, wasn't really addressed in the draft. Maybe Howie's got a secret handshake with some future Hall of Fame lineman we don't know about?
So, what does it all mean?
The future is wide open, folks! The Eagles have some intriguing young talent, but there are still some question marks. Here's to hoping these rookies come in hungry, ready to prove themselves, and maybe even learn a thing or two from the veterans (like how to celebrate a touchdown with a perfect Mummers strut).
How to be an Eagles Fan in Draft Season: A 5-Step Guide
- Prepare for the Unexpected: Howie Roseman? Predictable? Not a chance. Embrace the surprise, even if it comes with a side of head-scratching confusion.
- Stock Up on Peptides: Because apparently, they help extend the careers of legendary Eagles like Jason Kelce (who, by the way, is still contemplating retirement... maybe?).
- Loyalty is Key: You cheer for the green, you scream at the screen, you defend questionable calls with the passion of a thousand cheesesteak connoisseurs. That's the Eagles life, baby!
- Practice Your Patience: Building a championship team takes time. Trust the process (and maybe offer Howie some extra Tastykakes to keep the good vibes flowing).
- Never Forget the Power of Positivity: No matter what happens, remember, there's always next year. And besides, a win at Lincoln Financial Field with a roaring Eagles crowd is an experience unlike any other.
 |
