The Burning Question: Sam Houston's Eye Color
Alright, let's dive into the really important stuff. Like, really important. I mean, world-altering, civilization-defining stuff. We're talking about the color of Sam Houston's eyes. Yes, you read that right. Strap in, folks, because this is about to get deep.
A Mystery as Deep as the Pacific
Now, you might be thinking, "Why on Earth do I care about some dead guy's eye color?" And to that, I say, fair point. But hear me out. This is more than just a random fact. It's a quest for knowledge, a pursuit of truth. It's like trying to figure out if aliens built the pyramids, but way less tin-foil-hatty.
Blue? Green? Hazel? Who Knows?
Unfortunately, Sam Houston wasn't exactly a social media influencer. He didn't have a verified account, no selfies, and definitely no eye color filter. So, we're left with historical documents, old paintings, and maybe a dusty old eyewitness account or two.
I've done my research, and the consensus seems to be: blue. But let's be honest, historical accuracy can be as reliable as a politician's promise. Maybe he had those chameleon eyes that changed color depending on the light. Or perhaps he wore contacts. Or maybe, just maybe, he was an alien in disguise and his eyes were actually glowing neon green.
The Importance of Eye Color (Or Lack Thereof)
Okay, okay, I hear you. Eye color isn't exactly groundbreaking news. But let's be real, sometimes you just need a mindless distraction from the world's problems. And what better way to do that than ponder the ocular hue of a long-dead politician?
It's like staring at clouds and seeing shapes. Except instead of bunny rabbits, we're seeing shades of blue, green, or possibly even alien green.
How to Become an Eye Color Expert (On Sam Houston, Specifically)
- How to find old paintings of Sam Houston: Your local library or historical society might be a good place to start. Bonus points if you find one where he's winking.
- How to decipher 19th-century descriptions of eye color: Brush up on your old-timey language skills. Words like "azure" and "verdant" might come in handy.
- How to conduct a séance to ask Sam Houston directly: If all else fails, channel your inner Scooby-Doo and try contacting the other side. Just make sure to bring Scooby Snacks.
- How to time travel to the 19th century and take a selfie with Sam Houston: This one is still in the experimental stages, but watch this space.
- How to let go and accept that we may never know the true color of Sam Houston's eyes: Sometimes, the mystery is more fun than the answer.
