So You Wanna Play Jigsaw Killer in Oklahoma? Not So Fast...
Ever wondered what lands you on Oklahoma's "One-Way Ticket to Naptime" list? Well, buckle up, thrill-seekers (of the law-abiding variety, of course), because we're about to delve into the not-so-glamorous world of capital punishment in the Sooner State.
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| What Crimes Are Punishable By Death In Oklahoma |
The Big One: First-Degree Murder
This is the main course, the headliner, the "you done messed up bad" crime. In Oklahoma, first-degree murder gets the death penalty treatment if it involves any of the following delightful activities (not recommended):
- Playing "Encore" with Murder: You already did the crime, why tempt fate with a repeat performance? If you've got a prior felony involving violence on your record, that first-degree murder might come with a lethal injection chaser.
- Murdering Like a Wholesaler: Apparently, retail murder just isn't harsh enough. If you put more than one person at high risk of saying "see ya later," the death penalty might be on the table.
- Murder for Hire: The Not-So-Handy Option: Looking to off someone and avoid getting your hands dirty? Bad news, pal. Hiring a hitman (or hitwoman, we're equal opportunity offenders here) is a great way to land yourself on death row.
- Especially Heinous, Atrocious, or Cruel: This one's a bit subjective, but if your murder methods involve anything out of a Saw movie, you're probably not looking at life in prison.
But Wait, There's More! (Although Hopefully Not)
Tip: Bookmark this post to revisit later.
While first-degree murder is the main contender, Oklahoma has a special place in its heart (or lack thereof) for a few other crimes:
- Killing a Cop or Prison Guard: Apparently, messing with law enforcement (while they're on the job, at least) is a big no-no.
It's All About Risk Management (For Society, Not You)
The good folks of Oklahoma also consider if you might be a repeat offender. If the jury thinks you're a walking crime spree waiting to happen, they might opt for the permanent solution.
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Phew, That Was a Lot of Legal Stuff!
Now, this ain't legal advice (disclaimer, disclaimer), and Oklahoma's laws can be tricky. If you're facing serious charges, get yourself a lawyer, pronto.
Death Penalty FAQs (because who learns from boring old reading?)
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How to avoid the death penalty in Oklahoma?
QuickTip: Scan the start and end of paragraphs.
Simple: Don't commit crimes, especially heinous ones.
How do I know if my crime is punishable by death?
Consult an attorney. Seriously, don't rely on Buzzfeed quizzes for this one.
Can I get the death penalty for jaywalking?
Tip: Reread sections you didn’t fully grasp.
Highly unlikely. Unless you jaywalked in front of the Governor while brandishing a flamethrower, you're probably safe.
Is the death penalty still used in Oklahoma?
Yes, but it's not as common as some other punishments.
How do I become a lawyer specializing in death penalty cases?
That's a long road, friend. Get ready for years of schooling and even more years of experience.
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