The Great Stafford Swap: Detroit Deals Away Their Dude for a Whole Bunch of Stuff (and Goff)
The year was 2021. Matthew Stafford, the immovable object that was the Detroit Lions' quarterback for a solid decade, was suddenly...movable? Gasp! Lions fans collectively choked on their Honolulu blue kool-aid as rumors swirled about Stafford hitting the trade market. Lo and behold, a deal materialized with the Los Angeles Rams, and whispers turned into shouts of "What did Detroit get?!"
Well, buckle up, because it wasn't your grandma's bag of Werther's Originals (although, let's be real, those things are delicious). Here's the lowdown on what the Lions snagged in the Stafford swap:
The Quarterback Conundrum: Jared Goff
QuickTip: Slowing down makes content clearer.
Let's just say he wasn't exactly a prize on par with a winning lottery ticket. Goff, the Rams' previous QB, came to Detroit with a hefty contract and a tendency to, well, throw interceptions like confetti at a parade. But hey, at least he wasn't a complete stranger! He knew the playbook (sort of), and, more importantly, he wasn't Stafford (which, at the time, was the goal).
The Draft Pick Palooza: Building for the Future (Hopefully)
QuickTip: Revisit this post tomorrow — it’ll feel new.
This was the real treasure for the Lions. The trade included a smorgasbord of draft picks, including:
- A 2021 third-rounder (used on Ifeatu Melifonwu, a cornerback who might be a star someday, we swear!)
- A 2022 first-rounder (which eventually turned into speedy wide receiver Jameson Williams, thanks to a trade with the Vikings)
- A 2023 first-rounder (used to snag explosive running back Jahmyr Gibbs)
The Long and Short of It
Tip: Read carefully — skimming skips meaning.
The Stafford trade was a gamble for Detroit. They gave up a proven (if slightly frustrated) talent for a chance to rebuild. But hey, at least they got a decent quarterback to hold down the fort (or should we say "throw" down the fort?) while they develop their younger players.
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So, did the Lions win the trade? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: they definitely got a whole lot more interesting in the process.
QuickTip: Skim fast, then return for detail.
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| What Did Detroit Get For Stafford |
FAQ: You Asked, We Answered (Kinda)
How to Deal with a Stafford-Shaped Hole in Your Heart?
- Step 1: Denial. This is a perfectly reasonable first step. Matthew Stafford will be back any minute...right?
- Step 2: Acceptance. It's okay to be sad. He was a great player. Just rewatch some of his highlight reels and cry it out.
- Step 3: Find a New Favorite Player. The young guns on the Lions are exciting! Give them a chance.
- Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3 as needed.
How to Draft Like the Detroit Lions (Not Recommended)
- Step 1: Trade away your star player. This is crucial.
- Step 2: Throw a dart at a board with random prospects' names on it.
- Step 3: Pray. Lots and lots of praying.
How to Not Get Out-Traded by Sean McVay (Extremely Difficult)
- Step 1: Hire a time machine. Go back in time and draft all the good players before the Rams do.
- Step 2: Make a blood pact with the football gods. This is a very advanced technique. Consult a professional witch doctor before attempting.
- Step 3: There is no Step 3. Sean McVay is a wizard.
How to Tell if Your Quarterback is More Likely to Throw a Touchdown or an Interception?
- Step 1: Look at his recent performance.
- Step 2: Flip a coin. Heads: touchdown. Tails: interception. (This method is surprisingly accurate for Goff.)
How to Enjoy Watching the Detroit Lions (Even When They Lose)
- Step 1: Lower your expectations. This is key.
- Step 2: Surround yourself with friends and family who are also Lions fans. Misery loves company, after all.
- Step 3: Focus on the small victories. Every first down is a cause for celebration!
- Step 4: Stock up on alcohol. You might need it. (Just kidding...mostly.)
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