The Great Hockenson Heist: What the Lions REALLY Got (Besides Buyer's Remorse)
Remember T.J. Hockenson? Yeah, the stud tight end, the one-time Pro Bowler, the guy who could outrun linebackers and make grown men cry with his highlight-reel catches? Well, the Detroit Lions, in a move that still makes some fans question the existence of kneecaps at Ford Field, traded him away in November 2022. But for what? Let's grab a magnifying glass, because this haul ain't exactly glittering with diamonds.
 |
| What Did The Detroit Lions Get For Tj Hockenson |
The Goods (or lack thereof):
- A shiny, USED 2nd-round draft pick: This pick, previously owned by the Minnesota Vikings, might have seen some action on the field before the trade. Did it win a Super Bowl? Unlikely. Did it witness a particularly brutal sideline chewing out from a coach? Who knows! But hey, it's a draft pick, and those things are like participation trophies for GMs, right?
- A promissory note for a future 3rd-round pick: This one gets even trickier. It's like that coupon you found in the dryer for 10% off a yoga class you'd never take. It depends on the Vikings making the playoffs, which, well, let's just say their track record isn't exactly...checks notes...playoff-filled.
- A whole lotta cap space: This might be the real prize. Trading Hockenson freed up some serious cash for the Lions. Now, they can spend it on...uhhh...intriguing new uniforms? Experimental squirrel-based training programs? The possibilities are endless! (Though, realistically, it probably went towards buying a slightly used fax machine for the scouting department.)
QuickTip: Check if a section answers your question.
But wait, there's more!
This trade wasn't just about the loot. The Lions, in a daring display of roster gymnastics, also gained:
- The unwavering belief in the power of potential: Sure, Hockenson was a proven talent, but hey, haven't you heard? Potential is like that winning lottery ticket you never bought – it could be HUGE!
- A chance to say "hello" to some new faces: With Hockenson gone, the tight end room became a wide-open competition. This must have been exciting for practice squad tight ends everywhere, who suddenly saw their shot at the big leagues.
QuickTip: Revisit posts more than once.
So, what's the verdict?
Did the Lions fleece the Vikings? Debatable. Did they come away with a haul that will propel them to the Super Bowl? Not likely. But hey, at least they got some draft picks and a renewed sense of...optimism? Maybe?
 |
QuickTip: Stop to think as you go.
How-To FAQ on The Great Hockenson Heist
How to understand the Lions' logic? Easy, just picture a dog chasing a squirrel – it might not make perfect sense, but it's sure entertaining to watch.
How to use a slightly-used draft pick? Carefully. You wouldn't want to draft a player who peaks in training camp, would you?
QuickTip: Use the post as a quick reference later.
How to find hidden value in a future 3rd-round pick? Look for one with a hidden compartment containing a winning lottery ticket (see answer to question #1).
How to cope with buyer's remorse after trading away a star player? Retail therapy! But maybe skip the jerseys with Hockenson's name on the back.
How to move on? Embrace the rebuild, Lions fans! Remember, every dark night eventually leads to a sunrise...or at least another exciting draft pick.
 |
