Where Did All the Guardian Angels Go? A Chicago Mystery
Chicago, the Windy City, is known for its deep-dish pizza, towering skyscrapers, and a certain... charm. But there's one thing that's conspicuously absent these days: guardian angels. They seem to have vanished into thin air, leaving the city to fend for itself against a horde of mischievous pigeons and the occasional errant hot dog.
The Golden Age of Guardian Angels
Once upon a time, Chicago was teeming with guardian angels. They were everywhere – perched on the shoulders of Cubs fans, hovering over deep-dish pizza ovens, and even, rumor has it, providing traffic control during rush hour. But then, as mysteriously as they appeared, they started to disappear.
Some say they were lured away by the promise of better weather in California. Others claim they were simply overwhelmed by the sheer volume of pizza orders and decided to take a vacation. But the most popular theory is that they were abducted by aliens, who mistook them for particularly fluffy clouds.
The Void Left Behind
The absence of guardian angels has had a profound impact on the city. Crime rates have skyrocketed (well, maybe not, but it's a good story). Traffic accidents have increased (again, maybe not, but it's fun to speculate). And the number of people complaining about the weather has reached an all-time high.
It's like the city has been thrown into a cosmic game of hide-and-seek, and we're all just waiting for the angels to reappear. Until then, we're left to our own devices, which, let's be honest, isn't always pretty.
What Can We Do?
While we wait for the return of our feathered friends, there are a few things we can do to fill the void. We can try to be our own guardian angels, which involves wearing a halo and carrying a harp at all times (not recommended). We can start a petition to bring back the guardian angels (good luck with that). Or we can simply accept the fact that life without guardian angels is a bit of a free-for-all and embrace the chaos.
In the meantime, let's all remember to be kind to each other. After all, we're all we've got.
How To...
- How to find your inner guardian angel: Meditate, practice random acts of kindness, and avoid eating too much pizza.
- How to spot a fake guardian angel: They usually wear sunglasses indoors and have a suspicious amount of glitter on their wings.
- How to prepare for a guardian angel apocalypse: Stock up on pizza, learn how to play the harp, and practice your flying skills.
- How to summon a guardian angel: This is strictly classified information. You wouldn't want to know anyway.
- How to cope with the absence of guardian angels: Embrace the chaos, drink lots of coffee, and remember that life goes on.