The Great Portland Perplexity: Did it Get Zombied or Did the CRM Say "Bye Felicia"?
Ah, Portland. The city of roses, rain, and... wait, what happened to Portland in The Walking Dead universe? Buckle up, fellow survivors (or snack enthusiasts, no judgement here) because this one's a bit of a mystery.
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The CRM's Shady Dealings: From Allies to "Oops, All Berries"
We know the Civic Republic Military (those lovely folks with a superiority complex) had a little alliance cookin' with Portland. But, as with all things CRM, things went south faster than a walker with a bad case of the wobbly ankles. The CRM, ever the efficient bunch, decided Omaha, another allied community, wasn't pulling its weight. So, they did what any self-respecting, slightly unhinged organization would do: wiped Omaha off the map. Nasty business, that.
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Portland: Sitting Ducks or Savvy Survivors?
Now, the question that keeps everyone up at night (or, you know, during a particularly boring walker patrol): did the CRM decide Portland was next on the chopping block? Here's the twist: we don't actually know for sure!
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The good news: Thanks to the heroic efforts of some folks from "The Walking Dead: World Beyond" (think Rick Grimes' kid's new digs, minus the whole creepy scientist vibe), Portland might have gotten a heads-up about the CRM's, ahem, "strategic relocation plan."
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The bad news: This just means Portland's on high zombie apocalypse alert, with a healthy dose of distrust for anyone in a shiny helicopter.
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So, What's the Down Low on Portland?
Here's the skinny: Portland's fate is a cliffhanger that would make even Negan blush. Did they become CRM-chow? Did they build a giant slingshot to launch artisanal kombucha at any approaching helicopters? Only time (and maybe a future Walking Dead spin-off) will tell.
In the meantime, here are some fun facts to keep your brain occupied while you ponder Portland's predicament:
- Fact: The only glimpse we get of Portland is a single establishing shot. Did they film it in a Trader Joe's parking lot? We may never know.
- Fact: The internet is buzzing with theories about Portland. Some say they became a haven for vegan walkers who only eat kale (doubtful, but hey, stranger things have happened in the apocalypse).
How To: Gear Up for Your Own CRM Encounter (Just in Case)
- How to spot a CRM helicopter: Look for a shiny silver bird with a serious case of superiority issues.
- How to build a giant kombucha slingshot: We recommend using recycled materials and a whole lot of duct tape. Safety first, folks!
- How to convince walkers you're one of them: This is a tricky one. Maybe try moaning dramatically and offering them a kale chip (see Fact #2).
- How to make the best of a zombie apocalypse: Stock up on snacks (preferably not kale), find a good group of survivors (think Daryl Dixon minus the brooding), and learn to laugh in the face of danger (because seriously, what else are you gonna do?).
- How to find out what REALLY happened to Portland: Keep your eyes peeled for future Walking Dead content. We're all waiting with bated breath!
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