The Chicago Handshake: A Love-Hate Relationship
So, you've heard about the Chicago Handshake, huh? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to dive into the murky waters of this Windy City tradition.
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| What is The Chicago Handshake |
What the Heck is a Chicago Handshake?
Let's get this straight: it's not a firm grip and a hearty "howdy." No, no, no. A Chicago Handshake is a daring culinary (or should we say, beverage-ary) feat involving two iconic Chicago staples: Mal�rt and Old Style. It's like a polar bear hugging a cactus - unexpected, painful, and oddly addictive.
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Mal�rt, for the uninitiated, is a spirit that tastes like someone squeezed the bitter essence of a thousand angry squirrels into a bottle. It's the kind of drink that makes you question your life choices, even before you've taken the first sip. Old Style, on the other hand, is a classic American lager that's as reliable as your grandma's apple pie.
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The Ritual
The Chicago Handshake is a rite of passage. It's a test of your mettle, a dare whispered in a smoky dive bar. Here's how it goes: you take a shot of Mal�rt, and chug an Old Style right after. The idea is to wash away the horrific taste of the Mal�rt with the refreshing beer. It's like trying to extinguish a fire with gasoline.
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Why Would Anyone Do This?
Good question. It's a mix of bravado, peer pressure, and a deep-seated desire to prove you're tougher than a cast iron skillet. Plus, there's a certain perverse pleasure in conquering something so undeniably unpleasant. It's like eating a whole ghost pepper and then bragging about it.
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Is It Worth It?
That's like asking if skydiving is worth it. If you're into adrenaline rushes and life-changing experiences, then sure, go for it. But if you prefer your drinks to taste like something other than liquid regret, maybe stick to a classic margarita.
How to Master the Chicago Handshake
Okay, so you're feeling adventurous. Here are a few tips:
- How to prepare mentally: Accept that your taste buds are about to go on vacation.
- How to choose your company: Surround yourself with people who won't judge you for making weird faces.
- How to enjoy the aftermath: Embrace the burning sensation in your throat and the temporary loss of taste.
- How to recover: Lots of water, and maybe a little hair of the dog (just kidding, don't do that).
- How to impress your friends: Tell them you've conquered the legendary Chicago Handshake.
Remember, the Chicago Handshake is not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution, and always drink responsibly. Or, you know, just stick to pizza.
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