Detroit and Snow: A Love-Hate Relationship (Mostly Hate)
Let's face it, Detroiters are a tough bunch. We can handle the hustle and bustle of the city, the grit of industry, and even the questionable fashion choices of some of our sports fans (looking at you, guy in the Homer Simpson toga at the Tigers game). But there's one thing that tests our mettle more than anything else: snow.
We're talking about the white stuff that blankets the city, turning normally bustling streets into a treacherous, slushy nightmare. It's the reason why your commute suddenly takes 3 hours, and the only exercise you get is shoveling your driveway until your arms feel like they're about to fall off.
But hey, at least we can take comfort in knowing that Detroit has seen its fair share of epic snowfalls. We're not talking about a measly dusting here and there. We're talking about the kind of snow that makes you question your sanity for ever choosing to live in a place with four distinct seasons (okay, maybe two and a half).
Tip: Rest your eyes, then continue.
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| What is The Most Snow Detroit Has Ever Had |
The Great Blizzard of...Wait, 1886?!
So, how much snow are we talking about? Buckle up, buttercup, because this is where things get interesting. The official record for the most snow Detroit has ever seen in a single storm goes all the way back to April 6th, 1886. Yes, you read that right, April! Apparently, back in the good ol' days, Mother Nature wasn't as concerned with sticking to a schedule. On that fateful day, a whopping 24.5 inches of snow fell on Detroit, effectively turning the city into a giant snowball.
Can you imagine the chaos? People waking up to find their front doors impassable, horse-drawn carriages struggling to navigate the streets, and children (assuming they weren't snowed in) building snow forts that rivaled medieval castles.
QuickTip: Reading carefully once is better than rushing twice.
Snowstorms Through the Ages: A Brief (and Slightly Hysterical) History
Of course, 1886 wasn't the only time Detroit got pummeled by the white fluffy stuff. Here's a quick (and slightly exaggerated) look at some other notable snowstorms:
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- December 1st and 2nd, 1974: The "Blizzard of '74" brought nearly 20 inches of snow, causing power outages, school closures, and a city-wide shortage of Yoo-hoo (because what's a snow day without chocolate milk?).
- February 1st and 2nd, 2015: The "Groundhog Day Snowpocalypse" (yes, we came up with that name) dropped over 16 inches of snow, right on top of a layer of ice. The result? A skating rink disguised as a city, and a surge in sales of inflatable snow tubes (because apparently, some people enjoy this kind of weather).
So You Think You Can Handle Detroit Snow? How To Prepare:
- Invest in a good shovel. This is not the time for that flimsy plastic number you got for free at the hardware store. You need a sturdy, metal shovel that can handle the heavy, wet snow Detroit is famous for.
- Stock up on essentials. Bread, milk, Netflix subscriptions – you know the drill. Just remember, if you see a run on toilet paper, don't panic buy. There's always a perfectly reasonable explanation...
- Learn to embrace the hygge. Since you're probably going to be stuck inside anyway, why not make the most of it? Light some candles, put on your favorite fuzzy socks, and binge-watch cheesy Hallmark movies.
Frequently Asked Questions (Because We Know You Have Them):
How to shovel snow without throwing out your back? Lift with your legs, not your back! And maybe consider hiring a teenager from the neighborhood to do it for you.
Tip: Don’t rush — enjoy the read.
How to build the perfect snowman? The secret ingredient is a mischievous grin and a strategically placed carrot nose.
How to avoid getting stuck in a snowdrift? Don't drive unless it's absolutely necessary. Seriously, just stay home and build a snowman.
QuickTip: Revisit this post tomorrow — it’ll feel new.
How to make snow angels without looking like a deranged flailing human? Practice makes perfect. Just don't blame us if you end up looking like a snow angel who met a tragic end.
How to convince yourself that Detroit winters aren't that bad? Repeat after me: "There's no place like home for the holidays... even if home is buried under a foot of snow."
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