Baltimore: Charm City or Charm Challenge?
Baltimore, Maryland – a city steeped in history, culture, and a certain flavor. It’s a place where you can find world-class museums, delicious crab cakes, and a surprisingly vibrant arts scene. But let's be real, it's also a city with its own unique set of quirks and challenges. So, to help you navigate the Charm City without any unnecessary mishaps, here's a quick guide on what not to do.
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| What Not To Do In Baltimore |
Don't Mess with the Locals' Crab Cakes
We're serious about our crab cakes. They're our pride and joy, our culinary masterpiece. So, when someone orders a crab cake sandwich and asks for ketchup, it's like a cardinal sin. Trust us, Old Bay is all you need. Also, don't even think about comparing Baltimore crab cakes to anything else. It's a battle you can't win.
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Don't Underestimate the Hill
Baltimore is built on a hill. And we mean a hill. So, if you're not used to inclines that could rival the Alps, you might want to pack some extra stamina. Don't be that person huffing and puffing up Charles Street, cursing the city planners. And for the love of all things holy, don't try to run down those hills. Your knees will thank you later.
Reminder: Short breaks can improve focus.
Don't Ignore the Weather
Baltimore weather is like a moody teenager. It can be sunny and 75 degrees one moment, and then a torrential downpour with hail the next. So, always be prepared. An umbrella and a light jacket are your best friends. And if you see dark clouds gathering, don't be surprised if it starts raining sideways. It happens.
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Don't Be a Sports Fanatic (Unless You're a Ravens or Orioles Fan)
Baltimoreans are passionate about their sports teams, especially the Ravens and Orioles. So, if you're planning on rooting against them, be prepared for some serious backlash. It's like poking a bear with a stick. Just don't do it.
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Don't Forget the Charm
Despite its quirks, Baltimore is a city with a big heart. The people are friendly, the neighborhoods are full of character, and there's always something happening. So, embrace the city's unique vibe, explore its hidden gems, and don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone.
Remember: Baltimore is a city of contrasts. It's rough around the edges, but it's also incredibly rewarding. With a little bit of knowledge and a sense of adventure, you'll have a fantastic time.
How to... Baltimore Edition
- How to order a crab cake: Simple, just say "I'll have a crab cake sandwich, hold the ketchup."
- How to survive the hills: Wear comfortable shoes, take your time, and maybe invest in a bike.
- How to prepare for the weather: Pack layers, check the weather app religiously, and always carry an umbrella.
- How to avoid sports-related arguments: Just agree with the locals, even if you secretly root for the Steelers.
- How to appreciate Baltimore's charm: Keep an open mind, explore different neighborhoods, and talk to the locals.
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