The Austin Illness Menagerie: A Field Guide for the Ailing Adventurer
Ah, Austin. Home of breakfast tacos, live music, and... what plague is going around this week? Fear not, fellow citizens (and those poor souls who just landed at Bergstrom), for this definitive guide will equip you to navigate the current sickness sweepstakes.
Tip: Check back if you skimmed too fast.
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| What Sickness Is Going Around Austin Right Now |
The Usual Suspects
QuickTip: Look for contrasts — they reveal insights.
COVID-19: Our unwelcome party guest just won't leave. Think of it as that acquaintance who crashes on your couch for a month – comfy at first, but now you desperately crave solitude (and a negative test result).
The Flu: Back with a vengeance, this seasonal soul-crusher is here to remind you why tissues were invented. Pro tip: don't confuse it with a hangover – mimosas won't cure this one.
RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus): This funky little virus sounds like a rejected robot name, but it's no laughing matter. Keep an eye on the little ones, as RSV can be a real doozy for them.
Tip: Reading in short bursts can keep focus high.
The Mystery Malaise
QuickTip: Read in order — context builds meaning.
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The "I Went Swimming in Barton Springs and Now I Feel Like a Gremlin" Syndrome: Austin's beloved swimming spot can harbor more than just fun. If you're experiencing a delightful cocktail of shivers, sweats, and a general feeling of "impending doom," this might be your culprit.
The "ATX Hot Mess" : A combination of sunstroke, dehydration, and questionable breakfast tacos leaves you feeling like a melted popsicle. Stay hydrated, folks!
Avoiding the Austin Plague Games
- Wash those hands! Like, seriously, people. Sing "Happy Birthday" twice while you're at it.
- Sanitize like a surgeon (but maybe not quite that intensely).
- Sneeze into your elbow, not your neighbor's breakfast burrito.
- Hydrate! Dehydration makes everything worse, even your existential dread.
- Listen to your body. If you feel like death warmed over, cuddle up on the couch with Netflix, not your co-workers.
How To Stay Out of the Austin Sickness Olympics?
- How to avoid Barton Springs Blues? Shower after swimming, and avoid swallowing any questionable water.
- How to dodge the ATX Hot Mess? Sunscreen, water bottle, and maybe skip the third breakfast taco.
- How to steer clear of COVID/Flu? Wash your hands, wear a mask if needed, and get vaccinated!
- How to know if it's COVID or just allergies? Get tested! This isn't a guessing game.
- How to avoid spreading the misery? Stay home if you're sick! Nobody wants your germs (not even those pigeons downtown).
So there you have it, folks! With a little caution and a whole lot of hand sanitizer, you can navigate the ever-changing Austin illness landscape. Now get out there and conquer that breakfast taco... responsibly, of course.
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