Seattle Snakes: More Garden Gnomes Than Garden Snakes (Probably)
Let's face it, Seattle is about as likely to have a Starbucks on every corner featuring a grumpy troll barista as it is to be crawling with creepy crawlies. But hey, knowledge is power, even if that knowledge is about the slithery kind. So, buckle up, because we're going on a quest to uncover the truth about Seattle's snake scene.
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| What Snakes Are In Seattle |
Danger Noodles or Derpy Danger Noodles?
Washington state boasts 12 species of snakes, but chill out, most of them wouldn't hurt a fly (unless that fly was particularly rude). In fact, the Seattle area is more likely to have a population of overworked hipsters arguing about oat milk lattes than a menacing viper den.
Tip: Read the whole thing before forming an opinion.
There's one villain in this story though: the Western Rattlesnake. This scaly scoundrel is venomous, but thankfully, they're more at home east of the Cascades, which is basically rattlesnake vacation land (don't visit).
The Friendly Neighborhood Garter Gang
QuickTip: The more attention, the more retention.
The most common snake you're likely to meet in Seattle is the garter snake. These guys come in a variety of delightful patterns, kind of like living kaleidoscopes, and are more scared of you than you are of them. They're also excellent pest control, chowing down on slugs and other garden nasties. So next time you see a garter snake, think of it as your personal (albeit legless) gardener.
So, You Think You Saw a Snake?
Tip: Don’t just scroll to the end — the middle counts too.
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Seattle's a pretty urban environment, so seeing a snake is a bit of an anomaly. But hey, stranger things have happened (like that time it rained for six weeks straight... #SeattleProblems). Here's the deal:
- Leave it alone. Seriously, these snakes are more interested in avoiding you than giving you a high five (with fangs).
- Admire it from afar. Snap a picture for your Instagram story (because #Nature) but maintain a respectful distance.
- If it's in your house, call animal control. They're the experts in wrangling unexpected house guests, scaly or otherwise.
Bonus Tip: If you encounter a snake wearing a tiny rain jacket and sipping a latte, that's probably just Steve from accounts receivable taking his lunch break. Say hi!
Tip: Reread tricky sentences for clarity.
How ToFAQs:
How to Identify a Garter Snake? Look for long, slender bodies with colorful stripes (usually yellow, green, or blue).
How to Avoid Snakes? Stick to well-maintained trails and avoid tall grass or brush piles where they might be hiding.
How to Help a Scared Snake? Don't! Leave it alone and it will find its way on its own.
How to Become a Snake Whisperer? There's no app for that, but learning about local snake species is a good start.
How to Live with the Knowledge that Seattle Probably has More Toads Than Snakes? Embrace the weird!
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